Milestones. We’re raised on them. Leaving school. First job. First home. Getting married. Having kids. Once we become mothers, it’s all about the milestones; our children’s, not ours.
Somewhere along the line, we lost sight of the beauty that lies in the ordinary moments all around us, every day. The ordinary moments that make up so much of what being a mother is; another breakfast, getting out of the house, the bath and bedtime dance that has turned into a battle, without us even realising.
It’s no wonder that the modern day mother often struggles amidst the ‘mundane’ tasks of motherhood. We’ve been misinformed that life is a thrilling ride, whilst the ordinary moments decay in their own monotony.
It takes the passing of time and watching your baby grow and grow, and grow some more, to realise that the ordinary moments are it. They’re much more abundant than the thrilling ones and we can trust in their occurrence. Either we opt to be bored and frustrated by them and wish them away or we slow down and choose to find the joy in them. To really engage with the moment in hand. Feeling the bubbles on your baby’s skin during bathtime. Inhaling the freshness of their newly washed babygro. Leaving the catastrophic ‘my baby is NEVER going to sleep’ thoughts and succumbing to the pure love of holding them against your chest, instead.
Because the truth that no one tells us is that joy can be found even in the most mundane of tasks; it’s why we get that endorphin rush when we finally put away the washing that spends more time on the kitchen table than our plates and cutlery.
It can be really tricky, some days, to feel the joy. I know. And if you’re reading this as a tired mum of a new baby. Or you’re currently bathing one or two kids, whilst feeding another on the toilet (basically how I spent 2014). Or you’re throwing another uneaten dinner into the bin, you’re probably not feeling the joy. Every mother has these moments. But we can bring ourselves back. And this is what we need to encourage ourselves (and each other) to do. See the wonder of it. Because the more you see, the more there appears to be. The ordinary moments are everything. We must notice them. Live them. And savour them.
The milestones come and go; it’s what happens in between that really deserves our attention.
Amy Ransom is a mum of three and author of the Notebooks For Mum series, including bestseller, The New Mum’s Notebook, a reassuring companion to the first year of motherhood and the newly released organiser for the first year at primary school, The School Mum’s Notebook. All available from notebooksformums.co.uk. You can follow her over on Instagram @amyransomwrites and @notebooksformums and Facebook @amyransomwrites.