2yr old not eating well

[bfountaine]

Hi this is my first post here, apologies it does cover some of the things that have been posted recently but a few other questions too. I have a 2 and a half yr old who is is a bit of an odd eater and I would love to hear any suggestions you may have to help me improve his eating habits. At the moment he has 3 completely different ways of having his meals. He spends mon-wed at nursery all day, they have a fairly structured routine of breakfast, snack, main meal, snack, tea (lighter meal like sandwiches) in that routine, he eats breakfast at home with us (usually a couple of pieces of toast) will eat all the snacks during the day and the light meal at dinner time, but tends to refuse to eat the main meal or eat a very small amount of it, regardless of what it is, then will come home and 'snack' between 5:30 and bed time. On Thurs/Fri he is with his Granny, who is fairly tough with him, but quite inconsistent (though I'm no better!), he will eat cottage pie with her, either at midday or end of day depending on when she feels like giving it to him, and then has a 'snacky' other meal, usually made up of things like cheese, fruits, yoghurts etc - finger type food. We will have a main meal when I get home (about 5:30) of which he'll insist on having a plate, but tends not to eat anything on it unless it's meat and/or chips, he will eat meat from our plates, but not vegetables and only roast potatoes. Over the weekend he's with me and my husband and again, we do tend to have a rather haphazard meal time, and DS will eat for us meat, (not fish) from our main meals, snacks like fruit yoghurts etc, toast, and if we have it, cottage pie.

I know how we've gotten into such a muddle, it's been because I haven't wanted to turn mealtimes into a big battle with him, especially as I have some pretty horrible memories of mealtimes battles from when I was a child, so I've opted to let him eat things he likes and to try not to force him into eating things but now the range of foods he'll eat is fairly limited. Also, as I've been back at work full time for the last 9 months I've not been very organised and his meal time has suffered, he tends to need to eat around 4:30/5pm, I don't get home till 5:30 and my husband doesn't get home till 6:30 so we never sit down and eat as a family, also though he will happily sit on a little chair at his height, if we put him in a booster seat at the table he sobs hysterically and there's no hope of getting him to eat so he tends to eat walking round the room! (God I've just realised the picture I'm painting of our homelife!)

I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and about to start maternity leave and would really love to use as much time as I can between now and when baby comes to start to turn his mealtimes into something positive. Hopefully my husband can shift his working pattern an hr once I'm home so we can all sit down together for a meal but I'm at a loss for where to start! Since he's been in nursery I've really lost touch with what he will/won't eat and I'd love to try some of the recipes on this site, (and in my Annabel Karmel book) but I'm dreading the thought of putting a whole lot of effort into cooking something new for him and then finding he'll not even touch it and I'd rather cook 1 meal for the whole family but can never figure out if the 'serves x' is x toddlers or x adults?

I know these seem really insignificant, petty excuses when weighed against my sons eating habits for a lifetime but I'd really love any suggestions any of you have on where to start with him as I feel I've lost touch with him a fair amount while I've been at work.

Thank you all in advance for your help!

[Janebug]

Write a list of what he will eat (speak to the nursery to get a list from them) and work out meal/snack ideas expanding from that. If he will eat cottage pie, vary the flavour ingredients slightly, ie tomato, loads of carrots, added mushrooms, grated courgettes, bit of curry powder (and sultanas/apples), make it with turkey/pork/lamb/beef etc, mix in sweet potato or bit of grated cheese with the potato topping.

If he eats better at midday, plan the main meal for then, and a snacky type meal at 'teatime'. Ask gran to go along with this if possible to create a routine and let him know that you are in control and you know that you are in control.

Make a menu plan. It might be best to base this around what you know he will eat, say for the first week and then start experimenting/expanding from second week.

Create set mealtimes - you can make a real show of how nice it is to eat together more now you aren't working. If you are around I would eat with him and let OH eat on his own later. Serve the same thing up for all of you. It is up to you whether you let him take from your plate. There are pros and cons to that.

Try and cut back on snacks a little bit to encourage more participation in mealtimes. Alternatively, just do that in the morning and move on to the afternoon meal when confident?

Bulk cook cottage pies, casseroles, bolognaises, fish pies etc etc, and freeze them. This way you don't have to worry about how many it serves and you will soon adjust recipes according to your taste etc. Him rejecting something you have grabbed out of the freezer is a lot less emotional than having just laboured over it for hours (even though it might have taken that long to get it in the freezer).

If he rejects something just say 'ok, well if you don't want that leave it' but do not offer alternative or show any bother. He will soon learn!

Get him involved in shopping and making things. The 'I Can Cook' website has some good recipes on it. Maybe he could go shopping with dad with his list to make something?

These are just my ideas. I have never faced this so they might be totally unrealistic espesh with a new baby to think about! I think you know what you want to do but whatever you do give yourself a break!