How do you cope with 2 kids with no help ?

[princessemi]

Hello

thanks for help

[Bubba82]

do you claim the benefits you are entitled to? child tax credits, housing benefit, income support...etc?? if not look into this as that would certainly help with your financial dependance on him.

personally i wouldn't let him through the front door if he was going to be abusive, i'm sure there are places like contact centres where you can go with the kids and he can go and you're then not alone with him and he can't then be nasty to you.

He is basically bullying you and knows that he has a hold over you because you rely on him financially.

only you can break this cycle by being strong

[dmbell]

Just wanted to send you a big hug and some support so that you can decide what you need to do for a happier life.

If you are unhappy your children will notice. They may not notice his behaviour now (although I suspect the 4 year old does even if he doesnt comment on it) but what will you do when they are aware of his behaviour.

You need to look into what else you can claim and what help is available to you. You dont need to let him control your lives if you dont want him to.

Get some help and advice and see what options you have.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[sarahdavid]

I haven't been in your situation but just wanted to echo what the others have said and send you a huge hug.

Stay strong and you will work things out xx

[EvansMum]

I was in the same situation as you before, except I had the one child. me and my partner were renting a house together, he used to get drunk on a regular basis and would then come home throw things at the walls, call me every name under the sun, he threatened to hit me a couple of times but never actually done it, and the police were called on 2 occasions. In the end I decided I didnt want to live like that and I definately didnt want my son seing that so we split up and he moved out.


My advice to you is to sort out your finances and dont rely on your ex for support what-so-ever!!! That way he can not hold anything over you and it will make you feel so much stronger knowing that you are independent and you can do it on your own. Contact your local council or pop to your local office and get forms for council tax and housing benefit, ring up the job centre and apply for income support and tell tax credits (if you havent already) that you the only person living there now. If you privately rent your house then explain to the landord what is going on and that your rent may be a little late while it is all sorted but they will get it all backdated once the council has sorted it.

I know it seems unfair but maybe you should consider limiting your ex's visits to just weekends. Maybe he could take the kids out to the park or something for a few hours. Its not good for you to constantly be put down and its definately not good for your children. although you think it isnt having an effect on them, they will grow up thinking that that is 'normal' behaviour and you definately dont want that for your son.

If you think your ex is going to be a pain about it then maybe consider going to solicitor. You will get it free due to your financial situation (im guessing you dont work) and they will help put a plan in place and it just makes things easier. Me and my partner had to sort things out through solicitors and it made things so much easier.

Sorry, hope I havent rambled on. I know exactly how you feel hun and emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, its awful and makes your life hell. If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me xxx

[isabellasmum]

Phone Women's Aid. They will help you.

[princessemi]

Thank you so much for your help !

You are all amazing and so supportive , so glad I came here

I really got some answers today and feel much stronger now
Now I know which way I should go .........

Kids are my priority thats for sure...........

Thanks to all , kisses..........