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Old 20-09-08, 17:24
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Originally Posted by sarah240781 View Post
I'm having absolute nightmares with the way my MIL looks after my LO's. She has always had a real soft spot for Charlie (in fact, Lois hardly gets much of a look in).

I went back to work when Charlie was 9 months old and so my mum (nanny) and my MIL (na-na) look after charlie on wed -fridays as we couldn't afford to put him in nursery and i didn't really want to tbh.

Anyway, na-na has always let charlie get away with EVERYTHING and do everything he wants. To this day, she lets him do things which i am not happy with.
When he was a baby i had got him used to falling asleep in the day on his own, then Na-na started cuddling him off to sleep (against my wishes) and it took me months to get him used to going to sleep on his own again.
He is allowed to do all manner of things such as: sit on the worktops, turn on the microwave, load the dishwasher, drink tea (which i hate him having!), go into all the cupboards (which she opens as they have childlocks on) she supervises but i really don't think he should be doing those sorts of things. they are just the tip of the iceberg. in general, if he asks for something, he gets it. He doesn't have a nap in the day anymore when na-na looks after him as she lets him stay up and then he is awful in the afternoon cos he's tired, but he always goes to sleep when either me or my mum look after him, no questions asked. My OH thinks all of this is ok and he can be just as bad himself, he gives them things like cocopops for brekkie and if it's a plain cereal like rice krispies he laces them with sugar which i think is unhealthy and encourages them to have a taste for sugar.
My mum (nanny) and i on the otherhand don't let him do these sort of things. and this morning charlie got really upset cos he wanted na-na to come and not nanny. really annoys me cos he thinks na-na is so great cos she lets him have and do EVERYTHING he wants. I feel sorry for my mum, she feels like the wicked witch when really she is trying to set him boundaries. After he has been with na-na he has such an attitude on him, we call it na-na syndrome!
I'm actually thinking about trying to get him into preschool while i work so that na-na doesn't look after him. feels as though she moulding him into a spoilt brat! it's not worth saying anything to her, this afternnon when i got back from work charlie wanted to heat his lunch up in the microwave on his own and i said he couldn't and that only grownups do that sort of thing and so na-na said "here charlie, come and put my cup in the dishwasher instead"!!
Am i being ridiculous for finding this frustrating?? HELP!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah240781 View Post
To be honest it was never too much of a problem when charlie was a bit younger as a lot of people's kids are on here.

It's as he's got older that it's becoming a bit of a problem as he is naturally becoming a bit more independent which makes it more crucial that he learns that there are certain things that grown ups do and that he shouldn't be doing.

i do really appreciate what she does but it is becoming a bit of a nightmare. when i say she lets him do everything i really do mean Everything!

he's so much better behaved for me and doesn't even bother asking me to allow him to do half the stuff that she lets him do. though it takes about two hours after she has gone home of silliness and tantrums from him before he calms down and is back to his usual well-behaved self!

I could have written this myself! I completely empathise. Ruby is ALWAYS difficult when she returns from Granny's as she too is allowed to do everything, eat everything and doesn't do things if she she doesn't want to. On the occassions when she has stayed over she hasn't gone to bed until 10pm as she didn't want to go any earlier, she eats sweets and cakes all day and drinks sugary drinks, aah it's infuriating.

Again i dont wish to sound ungrateful but it is extremely difficult when you hand over a polite, well behaved child and are returned a hyperactive, irritable and spoilt tired monster!!!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 20-09-08, 21:31
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I could have written this myself! I completely empathise. Ruby is ALWAYS difficult when she returns from Granny's as she too is allowed to do everything, eat everything and doesn't do things if she she doesn't want to. On the occassions when she has stayed over she hasn't gone to bed until 10pm as she didn't want to go any earlier, she eats sweets and cakes all day and drinks sugary drinks, aah it's infuriating.

Again i dont wish to sound ungrateful but it is extremely difficult when you hand over a polite, well behaved child and are returned a hyperactive, irritable and spoilt tired monster!!!
omg so glad someone agrees with me, i think i shall have to remind myself that you are having the same problem whenever i am faced with it in the future. it's impossibel to talk to OH about how much it annoys me without him getting all defensive but then i guess it's only natural for him to cos she's his mum!
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Old 20-09-08, 22:06
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Phew, really difficult but... you have to have the final say! Yes so grandfolks are obviously not going to be as strict as you and are probably handing out foodstuffs that you wouldn't allow in your house let alone your kids, but you have to let it slide a little so that you can bring them in line with the really important battles. So my advice is quite simply choose your battles! xx
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Old 21-09-08, 02:07
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Originally Posted by sarah240781 View Post
omg so glad someone agrees with me, i think i shall have to remind myself that you are having the same problem whenever i am faced with it in the future. it's impossibel to talk to OH about how much it annoys me without him getting all defensive but then i guess it's only natural for him to cos she's his mum!

you are definatly not alone xx
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