I dont no what to do really

[lottiesmummy]

just took nearly a hour to write message and i lost it !! grrr anyway here i go again but a shorter version !!

hope all ok havent been on here for ages, now on this section - sorry !

My partner has been off on hoilday for a few days and says hes doesnt want to work anymore.He has really stressed me, im worried and he keeps doing things like this.Im eating so much and putting so much weight on, im so low about it.I work hard and he jelious i think.When he is off he sits and is on laptop or computer games.Doesnt help me when hes off and always been like that.I just dont no what to do.
I work part time soon to be more, run the home, look after daughter, look after grandparent etc ect.I dont spend loads or have credit card and im really reasourseful.
I think he want to work for himself and not have boss.But i no him so well he wont beable to do it.He doesnt realise all the paperwork ect and he will get so stressed, hes tryed it before and it was awlful time !
I do suport him and encourge, but i no this to be wrong.I worry hes going to do it and we will get in so much money problems and argue.It all came about cause this company said they will buy him a brand new car, he can choose it and everything.He doesnt pay for anything for his car but has money off per month cause its a company car (think thats right ??) he know has decided to buy his own car so they dont have a "hold over him".We cant afford to buy a car and run it like his new company car.They even pay to have it proffeshionaly cleaned monthly, pay congestion charge, petrol ect ect
We have a morgage and bills and I put on a happy face to everyone but this time im so low and so worried and unhappy.I will put money on the lottery again today and hope we win cause i can see huge problems ahead.
Cant really talk to my family i dont want to stress them.Dont want to chat to my friends cause i feel i will break down.

[Bubba82]

oh babe, men are such dicks!!!

what does he do for work?? i kinda know what he means about the 'hold' with having a company car but it's only a hold if you want to leave and then will be without a car and need to buy one yourself, i loved having a company car when i worked for Renault, no tax to pay or insurance if it needed repairs it wasn't down to me or come out of my pocket (which it never did need) was fabulous

i think you need to sit down with him and tell him ALL of your concerns, with the lack of help around the house, money etc etc, obviously tell him you will support him whatever he does but he needs to think about the future and put his family first. Try and find out what's not making him happy at work and if it's maybe something he should talk to his direct senior about to try and resolve, no company or manager wants to loose an employee and will do what they can to try and make things work, well at least that's my experience of work

massive hugs babe you know we're all here for you to moan at anytime

[rachaelmae]

None of us actually want to work, but we are responsible adults so we do.

Setting up a business is hard work, how will he pay his way while he sorts it out (not a great time to be setting up in business anyway)

He sounds a bit immature (lol like most men) i would tell him aslong as he pays his way he can do what he likes about work xx

[LittleMissMe]

thats incredibly childish of him saying he doesn't want to work, no-one really wants to work all the time. He needs to get his head out of the clouds, arse off the sofa and keep going to work, take the company car and help keep his family afloat. If you were earning enough to keep the family going then I'd say, hey give his own business a go, but if thats not the case its absurd to attempt it with no back up plan if things go belly up, which in new business happens more often than not.

Sounds to me like you've spoiled your man a bit! Try not doing the extra stuff you do all the time that he doesnt notice, he soon will notice and then moan and you say 'you do it then!' when hes walked a mile in your shoes perhaps he'll consider his family a bit more and be thankful he actually has a job. Even better, show him that post-pretty explanatory!!! hope you get it sorted xxx

[SephiesMum]

He needs to wise up! Does he realise there is a world wide recession on and people are losing their jobs left, right and centre? It's alright being selfish when there is only you to think about but that isn't the case here. He's the main breadwinner and he has a family to support, sure we'd all like to sit around and take things at our own pace, not have a boss etc. (although not having a boss doesn't necessarily mean you're going to enjoy working any more than if you did), but unless you're in a decent financial position to do so and have clear directions and options then you stay where you are, especially at the moment.

Give him a kick up the arse and send him back to work pronto!

[Claire76]

All I can say is (((((((((HUGS))))))))) We've had many a conversation about him and I still feel the same He needs to wise up and grow up and I hate that you are STILL so unhappy Lots of love hun and ditto what the others have said xxxxxxxxxx

[Tam]

AWWWWWW BABES, you know I love you sooo much but this man is upsetting you way to much.

If he starts his own business then it is a great excuse to sit down and play video games ALL day.

I know because my OH did the same, I was paying all the bills and he was working part time if even that and bringing in only £500 a month if we were lucky and I was pregnant with Nate at the time. It was the hardest time I have ever faced but like everyone is saying everyone has to grow up at some point and be responsible.
My OH did and now has a good job that allows me to stay home with the kids, we can afford holidays and stuff but we have a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs and we are a very happy family and that is enough for me.

You're partner doesnt sound like he wants to make the family secure, we wants to sit around playing video games and watching you deal with everything... what would he do if you left him?

He just cant sit there and expect you to do everything sweetie, you have to be happy too and Lottie too.

I am sending you huge hugs because ive been there and done it and it is such hard work but if he is willing to grow a pair and be a man and provide for his family then it will work and you will be a happy, relaxed family x x x x x

[matilda s mum]

Hey honey. I'm so sorry to see your message on here. I text you recently and FB'd you but did not hear back. i have been worried, and it seems rightly so. I'd love to meet up and see you once the girls are back at school for a chat - whatever you like - straight talking or tea and sympathy and a shoulder to cry on - whatever you need honey. You have my number. Would love to hear from you. and don't feel you can not open up and be yourself - I might even have a cry with you... in the meantime sending you ((((((((MASSIVE HUGS))))))))

[mrsharvey]

Originally Posted by matilda s mum

Hey honey. I'm so sorry to see your message on here. I text you recently and FB'd you but did not hear back. i have been worried, and it seems rightly so. I'd love to meet up and see you once the girls are back at school for a chat - whatever you like - straight talking or tea and sympathy and a shoulder to cry on - whatever you need honey. You have my number. Would love to hear from you. and don't feel you can not open up and be yourself - I might even have a cry with you... in the meantime sending you ((((((((MASSIVE HUGS))))))))

Hun please get in contact with me and matildasmum we are worried about you xxxx I bumped into your mum and said about catching up she said you would love that and I guess she knows something is going on, big hugs lovely and please contact us xxxxx

[BenandBellasMummy]

Hope you're ok lovely, tbh I think your OH needs a kick up the bum What does he say when you talk to him about the situation? Hugs x