Temper Tantrums

[Anna07]

Iz can throw some whoppers too..my strategy at the moment is to ignore and ride it out (haven't the energy to do anything else...!!!) she had one the other day in the loos of a local RHS gardens we visited and was lying flat on the floor I could see all the old biddies looking at me thinking that mother clearly has no control but frankly I didn't care, she got up in the end and came with me...!

I find that boredom can trigger bad behaviour from her so try to make sure we get out and about as much as poss (good for my sanity too) also over tired, hungry and jealousy of her sister.

I do shout at her too though as sometimes it is too much.

When I get cross now the little madams response is "Oh Dear Mummy Oh Dear" in v sarcastic tone...!!!

Good luck think everyone goes through this.

[Imosmummy]

..........................(ak playing up with replying again!)

[CarlaK]

I'm the last person to judge- I just feel that saying I'm not your Mummy is a short term solution and if I knew Claire personally, I would have said "OH Claire, you shouldn't have said that," and she would have know from my tone and face that I didn't mean it in a bad way. But that isn't possible on here to do so.

And I am not saying I don't lose my temper- but sometimes you do need to look to yourself (and husband) for answers.

I have to leave the room sometimes as I am soooo frustrated- but who does shouting help? It doesn't make you feel better afterwards. I am a child of a 'shouty' parent (I AM NOT SUGGESTING CLAIRE IS) and I am just saying that from the other side, shouting becomes meaningless because it is all you hear.

And I am nowhere near perfect but all this tippy toeing around the fact that it was a pretty horrible thing to say does no-one any good. And we all say things in anger but saying you have to be 'cruel to be kind' isn't that pleasant.

Claire- I don't know you and what is happening in your life- so I am sorry if this comes at a crappy time.

I knew there would be a backlash and I really thought very hard about this post, so please don't assume I did it to batter someone when they are down; I said it because I felt someone should. And if I am wrong about the whole situation, I am happy to accept that but I felt I wanted to say that you shouldn't say that to your children.

[Imosmummy]

I dont doubt for a moment you said it with good intentions, its very hard to see someone struggling and not want to give advise. But perhaps it would have been better in a PM, as the thing most upsetting for claire is shes found it very embaressing.

[Anna07]

Whilst i agree that parents are the one's responsible for a LOs behaviour it doesn't always follow that bad behaviour stems from bad parenting, a great great friend of mine is a fantastic mother but has terrible terrible problems with her elder child (to the extent that now getting a referral to a medical professional as she can't cope anymore and she has tried everything), her younger child is completely different.

Hugs Claire didn't see your post but hope things aren't too rough for you at the mo.

[rachaelmae]

TBF I think the bit carlas referring to in Claires post was a tad controversial and was bound to get different opinions.

Kids are hard work, and we all do stuff with hindsight wasnt the brightest move so dont take it personally Claire!

[CarlaK]

Originally Posted by Imosmummy

perhaps it would have been better in a PM, as the thing most upsetting for claire is shes found it very embaressing.

Point taken.

But the fact is, the cruel to be kind part is there on screen and I didn't want other people to think that that was the only option.

And finally, (AND THIS IS NOT AIMED PERSONALLY) I always think this to myself when I want to scream- if I can't control my emotions how can I expect my LO to do so in the future? I am mainly going on personal experience with my own parent and working with children- not, I stress, Claire or anyone else.

I am expecting/ready for the backlash/comments. I am very, very sorry if I hurt anyones feelings and I didn't do it too embarrass anyone; but if you don't want to hear honest responses, don't post things that invite comment. (And it was honest response, not malicious)

[Imosmummy]

I'm awful, the other week i was so fed up with the kids fighting over silly things i told them if they didnt stop i was packing my bags and going to live at Mickey Mouses houses, thats doubley evil

[Upsydaisytoo]

I agree with CarlaK. Have found some previous posts to be quite upsetting in the past regarding the same issue. Toddlers will be toddlers, it is their job. And each one is very, very special xx

[Ellie H]

I have to be honest, the post CarlaK referred to was controversial and did make me cringe a bit. Not because of what was posted but because I knew there would be a reaction. I think the nature of a forum is that people can say what they want and get things off their chest. Claire did and so did CarlaK. She felt compelled to respond, just as I and others have to things in the past. Yes it can be harsh, and get you in hot water.

People cannot always agree with the way others parent and often criticise. That's the beauty/problem with the internet, it's not face to face so opinions can be magnified.

People are judged on AK, it happens quite a bit (just look at the reaction the poor woman who posted about CBC's book got this week), but at the end of the day it's just a website and not worth getting upset over. I know this only too well .

Sending Claire and CarlaK ((((Hugs)))).