Claire-what the heck is going on! - Page 2

noababy · #11 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:09

But now that he ahs gone back to bed-I can call you No? :-)

dmbell · #12 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:10

huge hugs claire. Hope you find the strenght and courage to do what you feel is best for you and Finley.

If you dont want to talk about it then fair enough, as long as yo know we are all here for you i you change your mind. Different people have different problems. If it matters to you then it matters to us reagarless of what it is. Dont feel that your problems are never "significant enough".

xxx

Claire76 · #13 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:16

Susie - I understand his problems lately, have supported him the whole time but he is still being incredibly selfish and the way he was with Finlay today has just put the icing on the cake really. His problems inpact on me too, am not prepared to be treated like I have been any more. I get he's stressed but I'm running myself into the ground and reallynot coping myself. that means sh*t to him. *sighs* really, I'm not going to go into it all again, you all know the deal, nothing any different really and dmbell - thanks for your message, I just don't want to whinge about it all yet again, everyone must be bored stupid of all my crap atm, tis someone else's turn

noababy · #14 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire76

Susie - I understand his problems lately, have supported him the whole time but he is still being incredibly selfish and the way he was with Finlay today has just put the icing on the cake really. His problems inpact on me too, am not prepared to be treated like I have been any more. I get he's stressed but I'm running myself into the ground and reallynot coping myself. that means sh*t to him. *sighs* really, I'm not going to go into it all again, you all know the deal, nothing any different really and dmbell - thanks for your message, I just don't want to whinge about it all yet again, everyone must be bored stupid of all my crap atm, tis someone else's turn

we are never bored by your posts claire :-)

I was not defending him hun-was just pointing it out. Struck a cord with things I have gone through recently as well.

I find with myself that many times I can be in a cruddy mood or a cruddy way the same time hubby is in a bad way because of other issues and it affects both of us. With me, when I am trying to keep my head above water, I don't have the energy to be "babying" or taking care of , or being overly caring of the other person (aka hubby) and his needs. That has led to more fights than probably anything else-cause I am then " not being nice to him". I find that at times like that, I do what i need for myself and too bad. In your instance I personally would have said-here is Finaly, I need to go out, good bye and I would have left to get some "air" and time for myself.

SephiesMum · #15 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:25

Huge hugs Claire, we're are all here for you whatever the outcome of your talk tonight. Take Care. xx

Claire76 · #16 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:25

I would have rather taken Finlay myself today Susie, he was not in a nice mood (either of them)

vickiepower · #17 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:25

hope it all goes the way you want it to go...if that makes sense. will be thinking of you tonight hunny xxxx

noababy · #18 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire76

I would have rather taken Finlay myself today Susie, he was not in a nice mood (either of them)

I actually think what you are missing is you time.

I also think (and once again I may be wrong or projecting because it was what i found I needed for myself), that you need to start relying only on yourself for kudos and feeling good about yourself. If you love yourself and are happy with yourself, everyone around you will end up feeling that same way about you as well. If you wait for others to affirm the good things in you and "make you happy" instead of doing it for yourself, you will be waiting a very long time.

BenandBellasMummy · #19 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:59

Hugs Claire, I hope you can get it sorted, sounds like he's being a tosser xxx

Claire76 · #20 (**permalink**) 07-06-09, 19:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by noababy

I actually think what you are missing is you time.

I also think (and once again I may be wrong or projecting because it was what i found I needed for myself), that you need to start relying only on yourself for kudos and feeling good about yourself. If you love yourself and are happy with yourself, everyone around you will end up feeling that same way about you as well. If you wait for others to affirm the good things in you and "make you happy" instead of doing it for yourself, you will be waiting a very long time.

Susie, believe me I do love myself atm, I am so chuffed with how much weight I've lost and have been feeling so good about myself for the first time in a loooooong time. But he has this knack of when I'm feeling really good, he says something like the other day that my jeans (size 10) I get a little bit of a roll still in them (flab) but when I wear the size 12's he says they look crap cos they're too big and give me a saggy bum or the other night he said I've noticed you've got loads of spots on your forehead, what's that about? Then seemed puzzled when I got the hump. he always shoots me down in flames when I'm feeling good about myself or I'm in a good mood. Am fed up with it amongst many other things. I know you're concerned about me Susie but I promise I will be fine xxxxx