Please help! my 18m old won't eat or sleep!!

rockingrobyn · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-08, 18:48

hi all, I am pretty new to this forum. I need help desperately. My 18m old just refuses to eat. I have tried everything, different plates, out the high chair, you name it i've tried it. She refuses to take a bottle any more and wont even drink milk from a cup either. I dont know what else to try. She also refuses to sleep and usually ends up in our bed every night. I am exhausted and frustrated as she wont eat or sleep. i have just had yet another battle over our evening meal. My husband says it probably just a phase and she will eat when she is hungry. She was weighed recently and weighed 10.2kg. I dont know if that is normal or underweight. She seems healthy enough and always running about laughing etc. Am I worrying about nothing? And how do I get her to sleep in her own bed? I have tried everything too. Seems to have got worse since she stopped taking the bottle (her choice). I wonder if she's waking hungry but I've tried some weetabix later to see if that helps but she refuses that too. I would appreciate any advice you could offer please before I go off my head completely. Thanks. Sandra

rachaelmae · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-08, 20:28

sounds like you need to get tough

personally i would offer one meal if she doesnt eat take it away... make a fuss if she eats (clapping/cheering) ignore if she doesnt and dont stress.

be consistant.

controlled crying worked for us, dont take her into your bed

good luckxxxxxxxx

isabellasmum · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-08, 20:50

I echo what Rachealmae has put.

Be firm. Offer food at mealtimes and no alternatives even if nothing eaten. Praise the good, ignore the bad.

If you want lo to sleep in her own bed don't ever back down and let her into yours.

Hope things get better soon hon xx

rockingrobyn · #4 (**permalink**) 06-07-08, 02:00

hi, thanks for your advice but we've already started taking her in with us only to get a good nights sleep. We have two boys who are waking when she does and if they have school they are going to school tired because of her crying and screaming. We have tried to just leave her crying but she gets hysterical so its the easy option to take her in with us. I know its the wrong thing to do but she just screams and screams til we lift her and take her in

Logan s Mum · #5 (**permalink**) 06-07-08, 02:15

Poor you, I know how you feel about the food as my oldest is a pretty fussy eater. I would do as the others say and not offer anything else and she'll have to eat when she's hungry. She could just be testing you to see where your limits are or is maybe teething? I used to worry about Logan eating hardly anything but then someone said that they do have really small stomachs compared to us so even if she is eating a small amount that may be enough.

Regarding the sleeping - could you wait til the school holidays and then tackle this when your boys could have a lie in if they are woken by her during the night? I would also go with controlled crying if you can stick it but you do have to be really firm and your partner will really need to support you with it. I know a few Mums here have had success with CC and I'm sure could give you advice. xo

rockingrobyn · #6 (**permalink**) 06-07-08, 02:24

i know controlled crying is probably the way forward. Its the hysterical screaming that gets to me. i feel so guilty leaving her crying. She cried for nearly an hour one night last week and I just had to lift her. She fell asleep on my knee within minutes so I wonder if its just a comfort thing or some other reason. I have two boys aged 12 and 8 and they were both good sleepers and eaters so its like being thrown in at the deep end. Me and hubby are exhausted. Robyn (my daughter) wasnt planned so its been a massive upheaval for us as we didnt expect to have any more kids. I had endemetriosis and removal of fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies. I am 37 now and feel so old. I didnt feel so tired when robyn was up through night for feeds as a tiny baby. Its only now I feel done in lol.

rachaelmae · #7 (**permalink**) 06-07-08, 20:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockingrobyn

i know controlled crying is probably the way forward. Its the hysterical screaming that gets to me. i feel so guilty leaving her crying. She cried for nearly an hour one night last week and I just had to lift her. She fell asleep on my knee within minutes so I wonder if its just a comfort thing or some other reason. I have two boys aged 12 and 8 and they were both good sleepers and eaters so its like being thrown in at the deep end. Me and hubby are exhausted. Robyn (my daughter) wasnt planned so its been a massive upheaval for us as we didnt expect to have any more kids. I had endemetriosis and removal of fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies. I am 37 now and feel so old. I didnt feel so tired when robyn was up through night for feeds as a tiny baby. Its only now I feel done in lol.

big hugsxxxxxxxxx

waiting till the boys are off school is a good idea, it sounds like she wants comfort. Jessimae cried for 4 hours when we started cc (sound like a bad mummy) but i was exhausted she slept in my bed and would only sleep if i was next to her. for cc to work you have to stick with it... the more you let her cry then get her, the more confusing it is... i would go into jessimae every 5min about 5 times then every 10-15mins, would give her a kiss no eye contact say night night sleep time then leave. it broke my heart but after a week she barely cried now shes great 7-7 in her own cot, i didnt believe it would ever happen

if shes not sleeping its proberly affecting her appertite aswellxxxxxxx

rockingrobyn · #8 (**permalink**) 08-07-08, 11:41

hi, we tried to let Robyn cry for a bit in her cot and somehow she climbed out. She has broken her wrist and its in a plaster for 3 weeks. I feel so bad cos we left her to cry and now we are like walking on egg shells round about her incase she hurts herself again. She still in our bed now cos we dont want to leave her crying in her cot. I will just have to keep persevering with her. We have managed to get her to sleep in our bed then put her in her own but she still waking through the night screaming. And she still not eating much either. The joys!!! lol

Claire76 · #9 (**permalink**) 08-07-08, 14:08

I think nearly all of us on here can have every sympathy with you, all I can say is it WILL get better but only if you are consistent in what you decide to do. Hope her wrist is better soon and things start to get a bit easier for you xx

rachaelmae · #10 (**permalink**) 08-07-08, 21:14

aw sweetie, they all climb out at some point its really unlucky shes hurt herself... big hugs dont feel badxxxxxxxxxxx

keep going it gets easierxxxxxxxxxxxx