Help! Advice Needed My 2 Yr Old Won' Eat

[burrjulie]

I am very upset right now & I have had yet another dinner time battle - my toddler is 2 & half & she never seems to eat - certainly not at dinner time. She always uses the excuse of being tired & wanting to go to bed.

I am at the end of my tether, feel fed up, uninspired & concerned that by refusing to give her an alternative that I am starving her.

I have tried everything I can think of from putting the food down in front of her & not saying at thing to encouraging.

I do not know what to do. I love family cooking & dread all meal times.

please help me I can just about see the pc for crying right now.

regards, Julie

[Karon]

Hi,
Sorry i can't offer you any advice because i am going threw the same thing at the moment, i just wanted you to know i know how you feel and send you a big hug, all i seem to do at tea time is get upset and end up crying.
Hopefully someone else will have some kind of advice we can use.
Fingers crossed

[Rachael1]

Originally Posted by burrjulie

she never seems to eat - certainly not at dinner time. She always uses the excuse of being tired & wanting to go to bed.

The only advice I can think of is to let her have a nap in the afternoon, pre-dinner. Or make her dinnertime earlier. Perhaps she is just genuinely tired.

[lollynewmum]

Julie,
For the last few years i have had the same feelings about my oldest daughter ( who is now nearly 4 years old).
I went through leaving her, forcing her, bribing her etc etc and nothing really worked so my initial advice is simply chill out. I know this is very easy to say and i could not either at the time but the stress did transfer over to my daugther and i think that made her worse if thats possible.
What i started doing was trying to figure out what she liked and out of 7 days i might have got 3 meals sorted ( she did not eat alot of the family meal but she did eat a little), the other 4 nights i tried offering her what we were having, if she refused i asked her to leave the table if she was not going to eat and we had our dinner in peace ( no stress for you) , chatting away, keeping the atmosphere nice and happy and she never starved to death! In fact on two occasions she actually came back to the table and asked to try what we were having !! I nearly passed out with shock!!
I know its so hard, i have a new baby and i am determined to do everything to make sure this daughter is not a fussy eater .....but after 3 years i realised i have stressed myself out and made no real benefit to daughters eating......! I am sure you have probably tried the calm technique but i think if you are consistent they will eventually eat something, even if its not much !!!

I also tried arranging food into funny faces ( not that successful), i also gave her like a finger food version of the dinner, made sure portions were tiny so i could say well done and see if she asked for more....ready every book on the subject and only now at nearly 4 will she try veg !! ( one pea and one carrot per meal! ....._)its a small victory!!
Best of luck,
Lorraine

[mothertriplets]

Hello - firstly big hugs! i agree with a lot of what Lorraine was saying! sooo easy to say to chill out, but it works! im always hearing that you shouldn't look at what is consumed in one day but maybe per week. If you are worried she isn't getting enough of her vits etc - maybe ask GP to suggest a multi vit (just to tide you over while she is eating nothing).

i was talking to a lady here the other day and commented on what a hadsome strapping son she had (he was about 20) - anyway she said it was funny as he didn't eat anything at all in his first few years..... just milk. Well after seeing him i always chilled out a bit more when one of my lot went on hunger strike.... !

good luck!
XX

[burrjulie]

Yes, I know what you are all saying is making sense. I do try to not stress out at meal times. I know recently she has not been well at all & her hunger is coming back. Tonight, I was so happy I could have cried as she sat down to dinner at her little table with an oversized daddy sitting there too & she ate most of her dinner.

I think it helps if my husband is home for dinner as she is such a daddy's girl. But he does not finish work til after 7pm so not always possible, hence mummy eating early with her.

I have started giving her multivitamins in the form of a syrup, to try to ensure she stays topped up! Also, I also try to remind myself as you say look at the week not the day.

I have found out today that I am expecting baby number 2 in the winter & I really don't want to go through all this again.

By the sounds of it I think that all the thinks I have been doing are along the right tracks & you are right I need to ensure that I am consistent. My instinct tells me 'no alternative's' & when she says she does not want dinner I do tell her to leave the table then - quite often she will then whinge that she needs her dinner.

I think her illness exsperated the situation this last few weeks. I know it has only been one fairly successful dinner - but I feel so elated just by that.

I will just try not to stress.

Thanks once again.
Jules

[Ellie H]

Originally Posted by burrjulie

I have found out today that I am expecting baby number 2 in the winter

Awwwww! Huge Congratulations!!!

(((((((((Hugs))))))))))

xxxxxxxxxxxx

[burrjulie]

thanks for the congrats.

[tobys mummy]

Hi

Just read all your messages and my son is just starting to do this! I have to be strong and offer no alternatives but I think what if he's hungry?!

Anyway, my suggestion is what if you involve your little one in making the meal? stir the sauce in the pan? help empty the contents of a tin/jar into a pan? have a taster before its ready. I've always done this with Toby. "Toby try this, is it nice?" I put a little bit on a teaspoon and he tries it. He loves AK's kids chicken curry and has had 5 teaspoonfuls before dinner.

Congrats on being pregnant with baby no.2.

Kelly

[Lulu_france]

My daughter Lara - 2 1/2 is exactly the same !

And there's some great advice already here - i think that the only thing i would add is that everyone has to be chilled, but "be themselves".

What i mean is that i'm completely chilled re Lara now (NOT always been the case !!!) - and for me, i don't try to persuade her to eat anything - she either eats, or not. I always try to put something on her plate i know she will like & something new. But then it's up to her. If she doesn't eat what i consider to be enough, then no pudding. If she kicks up a fuss, it means she's actually hungry & i leave her plate in front of her, ("ignoring" the "crisis" !) & often she'll have a bit more. If she doesn't kick up a fuss then she's not hungry.

My husband is less chilled, without being stressed any more (unless he's really tired!) but will always try to persuade her to eat - "one for papa, one for Lara ..." That often works for him.

So, we've both found different ways that work for us ... Hope that makes sense !

Another couple of little ideas :

Choice : giving Lara the choice of 2 things i would like her to eat sometimes works.
TV : oh, the joys of telly !! Some nights she's allowed a little bit of telly (10/20 mins) either just before, or just after her meal. a little pot of tomatoes/grapes/apple slices ... things she'll never eat at table, will always go down in front of the telly !!!
Helping with cooking: great idea from toby's mum - thanks !

Good luck & don't dispair !!!

Lucy