What am I doing wrong?

[plumfairy113]

Hi
I've written a few times before and am still struggling with feeding my 16 month old. He just will not eat (healthly) and I am so so worried. He will only eat a small sandwich, crips, biscuits, chocolate and yogurts. I have tried everything, I am offering variation of meals etc etc. My health vis said to offer him food, if he declines then not to give him anything else (basically starve him) which I have done and he just cries and cries and also he is then up in the night. Any suggestions?? Should I just give him what I know he'll eat ? but then he's not getting a balanced diet. I am chucking all these lovely meals straight in the bin (recycling bin). I just don't know what to do and am so worried. He is like this with everyone that feeds him (so my anxiety cannot be causing it). He is also not growing, he is slightly underweight but not enough to be concerned about & he is only on the 2nd centile for height. It is driving me mad!!! Sorry to moan but everyone I talk to at home says not to worry, but I do.

[noababy]

First of all-all kids are different!

Have you tried making chicken purees and spreading them on a sandwich? Have you tried mixing pureed veggies or fruits with his yogurts? the key here is hiding good stuff in stuff he is willing to eat. Have you tried pasta with sauce?

I don't remember how long this is going on-so how long has it been like this? Always or did it shift at some point? Teething can be a big contributor to this kind of thing, as well as habits. (Kids learn what they can get away with and demand it then)

I would definately not offer him the biscuits and chocolates! (Crisps are french fries or potato chips?)

Have you tried giving him a bowl and spoon to feed himself and then using another spoon to try to feed him at the same time yourself.

It is important to try one route and to stick with it a week or two at least. So that means for example if you decide to offer him only balanced meals and nothing else, then do that-(regardless of his crying during the day) and stick with it for a minimum of a week or two (waffling back and forth during the day or doing the week is teaching him he can get what HE wants by crying)
Lots of luck and (((HUGS)))

[Spooncat]

firstly i would keep a food diary for a week - its surprising you might find he's eating healthier than you thought - you can also see from that if he's snacking too much - it might be worth cutting out some of those and then he will be hungry for the stuff youve cooked -once hes eaten that he can have his treat of a biscuit or crisps - dont give up keep trying and u will get there -if hes getting independent let him feed himself as much as poss - perhaps too much focus is on him at meal times - give him a plate of finger food and let him get on with it -ignore him and eat ur own food - he may just then start picking at food himself - worth a try , let us know how it goes , kayxx

[mica1]

I read this quote in a book 'you decide what he eats and he decides how much'. I would stick a routine and not offer the chocolate or biscuits even he if he refuses the food you have made him. Just takeit away and offer it later. if you start giving in he will just get confused and then expect to get his own way. I like the idea of 'hiding' friut and veggies in the foods he likes. Maybe try and get him involved inthe cooking and preparation of his food.

[chipmonkey]

Does he drink a lot of milk? My ds1 did and we had to cut it down by half to get him to eat.

[plumfairy113]

Hi
He has about 8oz in the morning and 9oz at bedtime. He's still not eating what I want him to eat, he just has such a sweet tooth. I get worried if I don't give him what he wants, he'll be all night long being hungry.

I think I'm going to have to not give him anything else, once I've offered him a meal, if he refuses it, take it away then try again later. If not I guess he'll have to go hungry until he eats. (This just sounds so cruel, but I've read that other people have tried this).

[emmab23]

a while i go i had a similar problem my LO was refusing her food. so what i did was when it came to meal time breakfast, dinner or tea i would constantly be saying 'din dins' so that she understood that this was the time to eat and once she realised it was great, now all i have to say is 'din dins' and she starts repeating it and getting excited. Sometimes she doesnt seem intrested when i say it i leave her a liitle while then she starts saying it i know she wants her dinner. Obvoiusly there are still things she wont eat but is loads better, and the weight thing i wouldnt worry about, my LO has been under weight since she was born and still is now just aslong as he doesnt start losing weight, he should be ok.

[Marisa Sia]

Originally Posted by plumfairy113

Hi
He has about 8oz in the morning and 9oz at bedtime. He's still not eating what I want him to eat, he just has such a sweet tooth. I get worried if I don't give him what he wants, he'll be all night long being hungry.

I think I'm going to have to not give him anything else, once I've offered him a meal, if he refuses it, take it away then try again later. If not I guess he'll have to go hungry until he eats. (This just sounds so cruel, but I've read that other people have tried this).

I was told to do the same and not offer anything else .. but I never could would always say yogurt or soemthing else ... the fact they are underweight feels like you cant starve them .. i know where you are coming from .. hang in there ... just get rid of all the biscuits and sweets OR say if you eat this (whatever the meal is) then you can have the biscuit and sit that in a little plate in front of him, that he cant touch it until he finishes his meal ... i used to do that with my little boy .. even to the point of chocolate coated sultanas .. 2 in a little plate with his minestrone in front of him ... and he wasn't allowed to touch the sultana until his dinner was finished .. dinner not finished no choc sultanas .. its worth a shot ...
Marisa
Down under

[beccyboo]

If he likes crisps he would presumably like chips, or what he thinks to be chips. There was a recipe about veggie wedges. You could cut sweet potato up if he likes sweet thing and carrot into chip shapes and bake in the oven. Or maybe some banana mashed on bread or some other fruit then rolled like a swiss roll. More fun foods may be worth a try, things to get messy with. Maybe start with biscuits dipped in his yoghurt but give some fruit as well or carrot sticks.

Prob not much use sorry my lo hasnt reached this stage yet.

Susie - I believe crisps are what you call potato chips in the US.

[Rachael1]

Have you seen the Organix range anywhere? I have def seen them in Boots and Tesco. If you really can't get him off the crisps and stuff you could at least feel better by giving things like their rice crackers. I have never given Evie those but it might be worth a try. You could try thinly slicing potatoes, maybe carrots too which would be good for a sweet tooth, coat in some olive oil and bake at gas mark 7/220C for about 20 minutes or until they are crisp. I like these! Lots! Beccyboo's oven chips sound lovely too.

For the sweet tooth thing, Evie loves the Cow and Gate fruit bars - Organix do nice Banana and Date ones too, just the fruit and rice flour in them. She has the odd square of dark chocolate too, which as we all know is good for us! She gets dark choc cos that's all I have in the fridge as it's the stuff I like! Or just mixed dried fruit laid out for him to pick at, maybe? You could make you're own flapjacks too, I know they will have sugar in but at least you can control how much goes into your own, and the oats are definitely good! I have a fairly healthy recipe for flapjacks if you're interested.

Hope this helps a li'l bit.
Rach.x.