Notoriously fusser toddlers?

[KristySmitten]

Hello everyone
My LO has just turned 1 & has been walking for over a month. He has never been a great eater and has never eaten a lot, but recently has become dreadful. I can't get him to eat ANYTHING, not even the reliable favourites. He will always eat breakfast, although even that is usually 1 Hipp A Bisc with fruit or the equivalent in porridge or another cereal. Plus sometimes a yoghurt. He refuses pretty much everything and what he does eat its only a tiny amount. If i give him finger foods meals (i.e cheese on toast) he has a few tiny mouthfuls and it goes on the floor.

Stuff I have read say that toddlers of this age are notoriously fussy and that this is normal behaviour, especially when they have developed the skill of walking. I have also read that we should not worry, as they have stored the fat over the last year that they need to get energy.

However, I am finding this very stressful and don't know what else to try really. He still has formula milk, mostly because i am worried that he is not getting enough nutrients from what he is eating.

He is not unwell and i don't know about teething but to be honest it seems to be nothing more than the fact that he has no interest in food whatsoever. He is a healthy weight (god knows how!).

So really i am just venting my frustrations and wondering if others have LOs like this and their thoughts and how they get through it?

Thanks for listening. x

[KristySmitten]

OK, so that title should say Notorisously fussy toddlers! Not sure what i was thinking there!

[rachaelmae]

Hi there,

We had a similar thing with JM and i found once i changed her formula to cows milk her appertite increased no end, she still has stages were she doesnt eat much but she will then make up for it...

hthxxxxxxxxxxxx

[camsmummy]

This all rings a bell - in the last few months, for my 16 month old, the walking thing (plus teething, or any other developmental leap) seems to have had an impact on eating. We have just been through a two week 'breadstick only' eating scenario which (in addition to his having learned the word 'NO!') has been quite stressful - everything else has gone on the floor. I guess the main thing is that your little one is a healthy weight, so clearly he's not fading away!

Not sure if this is useful, but in case......!

With C, distraction seemed to work a bit at that 12 month mark - not sure if he is feeding himself yet but maybe give him a spoon/fork to poke around with whilst you try to aim in a couple of spoonfuls on the sly. Dipping (goujons/breadsticks etc) into mush/soup etc was also a bit of a novelty, even if he sucks more than he eats.

C's milk intake dropped considerably (you can bulk up the shortfall with yogurts/cheese sauce etc) at 12 months. Not sure how much your fella is having, but maybe knock out (or reduce) one of the current feeds and see if this makes a difference to the food intake. C has only been having 2 fairly small beakers of milk (morning and night) since 12 months and so I try to make up the rest in brekkie/cheese sauce etc.

Try not to react when he rejects food and just take it away. In my (very limited!) experience, C looks for a reaction and will eventually get bored if there isnt one. We have tried to stick with a '3 strikes and you're out' rule - we offer it 3 times max (as sometimes it was just that he wanted to do it himself rather than me help) and then take the whole lot away. The hardest thing is not to give in then and roll out the yogurt just to get him to eat - I figured he may just learn to refuse the other stuff if there is a sniff of something petit fiilou shaped on the horizon (no idea if toddlers are this calculating?!?!).....

Not sure whether you get the chance to sit and eat together, but maybe have a few meals where you eat the same (ish) dinner as him so he can copy you?

I bought one of those sectioned plate things (Boots?) about that time and put some mush in one bit, pudding in the other and a couple of finger foods/raisins in the other. The colours seemed to appeal to C and whilst the idea of raspberry yogurt interfering with chicken pasta may not be everyone's cup of tea, he did seem to like to choose which bit to eat when. It may be that there is a bit of frustration going on there - wanting to feed himself and not quite being able to do it v well?

P.S. The throwing thing continues (mostly when he is full and doesnt want any more, or when I am wearing something nice), although now, the first sign of the food going on the floor and its game over. When he comes out of the high chair, I now ask him to pick up the spoon/fork/wipe off the floor and give it to me before he can go and play. Not sure this has any effect whatsoever, but the intention is there!

[KristySmitten]

thanks to you ladies for your replies.

i think i will definately decrease the milk intake and begin the switch to cows milk too as i do think he fills up on formula - but then i get stuck in a vicious circle because he doesn't eat much so i worry that he won't be getting the right nutrients so i give him some formula to make up for it.

i do think you are right camsmummy about the frustration too, i think he wants to be independent but cannot quite do it so refuses to be fed at all. when you speak about the "3 strikes your out" does that mean if he refuses his main meal then he definately will recieve no pudding or yoghurt? i feel that i will be starving J if i do this so if he refuses his main meal i still give a yoghurt and then i worry like you say whether they learn that if they refuse the savoury they get the sweet????

we don't get the chance often to eat together but will try this when we can to try to encourage him.

who would think feeding children can be so complex?!

i will give all the ideas a try as it can't get any worse than it is now!

thanks again,

xxxx

[camsmummy]

Hiya,

Its really frustrating and when they arent eating/sleeping etc, I know how it feels - you cant think of anything else! I am sure if you stick with it and try to stay calm, then you'll get there.

The 3 strikes thing was (pre him learning to tell me verbally 'No' in no uncertain terms!) - I was worried about whisking his dinner away too early in case he just wanted a break from eating and wasnt really finished, so if I wasnt sure, if he refused the spoon once, we would wait a bit and just offer it to him twice more (unless really obvious that he didnt want it) and then take the plate away without making a fuss. Quite often, at about 12 months, he would refuse to be fed, but would then try to feed himself, so there was a point when it wasnt that obvious!

In the 'I will only eat breadsticks and nothing else' fortnight, C was refusing even his favourite foods, but didnt seem to be ill or unhappy. This coincided with him becoming very assertive in lots of other ways (suddenly!) so I guess just part of development. I know that few situations will prevent him from being tempted by a yogurt (can hear the fridge door opening from 50 paces), so whilst I didnt want to be the pudding nazi, I didnt want to resort to dishing out yogurts when he wasnt eating anything else, on the basis that if he was hungry, he would eat at least some of the main course. I have always tried to not to make a big deal of 'finishing' or clearing his plate, so if he ate even a small amount of his main course, he'd get a pudding, but if he started throwing food or didnt touch his main at all, then the yogurts stayed in the fridge (although I didnt mention the 'no pudding' as I didnt want it to be a punishment). Oooh, I sound harsh!

Not sure where you feed your little one but the other thing that seemed to help me stop stressing sometimes was having him in the highchair in the kitchen. He could see me make the food and be at my height. I would chatter to him and be in the room pottering about, but tried not to stand over him (if you sit down and get someone to stand up really close to you, is quite intimidating, especially if you're trying to eat - guess its the same for tots). I was there, but pretending not to pay too much attention to what he actually ate, so he could get on with it. This might stop you feeling panicky and he can let you know if he gets stuck and needs help eating. Just a thought.........

[oliviarhia]

my LO will only eat sandwhiches if she is walking around, if she is in her highchair she wont which is a pain!!. xxxx