Thank you Clare

[djmc1812]

Me neither!! Considering he sometimes can be up every 3 hours would be forever brushing teeth! Although no nightime feeds now for just under a week...

[mulberrytree]

I'm quite exasperated to read all the inane posts on this topic. This thread was started as an innocent sharing of a challenging breastfeeding experience which concluded with a positive outcome following the help of Clare Byam-Cook. I assume the reason Mymissymoo decided to share her experience was in the hope that she might be able to help other mothers – surely the purpose of forums such as this? Instead she was attacked for being ‘cruel’ for not giving her baby formula while she sought to find a resolution to the problem and for being ‘mad’ for travelling as far as she did to seek the expert advice she so desperately needed. Good for her that she did! She should be congratulated not vilified.

And as for Fussymum, she is the absolute prime example of this horrible culture of attacking mothers no matter what they do. Why she has such a problem with CBC I still do not understand. And what is with this paranoia regarding any positive posts about Clare? Surely the sort of person to join a site such as this is, like myself, a parent looking to seek advice from experts such as AK on weaning our babies and ensuring they get the nutrition they need. Clare is a guest expert on this website, so why is it surprising that some of the users of the forum might just like to follow her advice too? If Fussymum is so anti AK and CBC then what is she doing here?!!

Fussymum seems offended by the fact that Clare charges for her services, but the charities she praises so much are not free either! The NCT charges quite a lot to attend their classes and when I needed their help in those first few days they didn’t even bother to return my phone call. Yes La Leche League and others do give free telephone advice but that’s not much good if you actually need someone to come round to your house and see what is happening and give hands on help.

The question of who Clare is accountable to is pretty obvious. HER CLIENTS!!! If you Google Clare (Fussymum I’m sure you have!) you will see that she does not give out her phone number so everyone who goes to her does so via word of mouth referral like I did. If her advice was as lousy as Fussymum seems to think then why on earth would everyone recommend her so much? Bad news travels much faster than good and if there genuinely were people out there who had had an awful time following Clare’s advice then surely word would get around pretty fast? The only people on this forum who seem to slate Clare are the ones who have never even met her!!!

If Fussymum had met Clare and engaged in conversation with her then she would know that it is completely incorrect and slanderous to say that Clare did not breastfeed her own children. In fact Clare told me that she had breastfed both of her children, but sadly not for as long as she would have liked due to poor milk supply. We discussed this with regard to my own milk supply which fortunately was and is plentiful – my problem was to do with my daughter’s inability to latch on correctly and not anything to do with any failure to produce milk. Thank goodness for Clare Byam-Cook is all I can say! Fussymum, you continue as ever to do a sterling job in thwarting your own arguments and in doing so promoting the woman you so clearly can’t stand. We do enjoy your efforts very much though, it’s hugely entertaining.

[fussymum]

*yawn*
Oh, I disagree. I think the Buymebook groupies are FAR more entertaining than I ever could possibly dream of.

So, when a CLIENT (!) has a grievance with Buymebook. Where does she go to? Who can she complain to? Buymebook? What will she say "never mind buy my bottlefeeding book?". Me thinks you're missing the point somewhere.

Buymebooks "poor milk supply" issues are probably where her advice begins to fall apart. She didn't feed her babies for more than a few weeks. Other women battle through this and come out the otherside - many then go on to train as Peer Suporters and BFC's and have far more personal experience than Buymebook.

Inaccuracies seems to be a trait in Buymebook land or else you'd know that there are plenty of walk in support groups (so many by Sure Start these days) and that even the NCT bf line will send someone round to visit FOR FREE - and there are also other helplines that do the same. I do actually have a bugbear with NCT for charging for their NCT classes - so that argument really falls flat with me.

If you do feel it really necessary to pay someone for advice and to visit then there are plenty of IBCLC's dotted around the country who have vast clinical experience and have sat (I think, could be more) a 6 hour exam which I'm willing to bet would make Buymebook would fall flat on her face.

Hmmm.....anti AK? That's a new one! I did BLW and think a lot of her meals and breastfeeding recipes (FFS!) are unnecessary but........so what??!!!

Going back to the OP. ASSUMING it is genuine, then I hope she has complained to the relevant authorities. Not having TT spotted can be quite common but not to spot thrush is pretty shocking. NO-ONE should have to travel abroad for this diagnosis. It is shocking! FWIW BFC's are trained to counsel mothers about both and whilst they cannot make a diagnosis should have the training to give the correct info for the mother to go to their HP with. Please complain - you should not have had to pay for the air fair let alone Buymebooks charge

ETA - when I said IBCLC's are dotted around the country, I meant WORLD - it is an international qualification - I'm sure there would have been one much closer to the op than Buymebook - which again, makes this little promotion thing that little bit harder to believe. If an IBCLC could not diagnose thrush or tongue tie then there really is cause to complain.

[fussymum]

[quote=mulberrytree;240848]

Bad news travels much faster than good and if there genuinely were people out there who had had an awful time following Clare’s advice then surely word would get around pretty fast? QUOTE]

Oh doesn't it just You should hear what they say about her

Have you read her book reviews on Amazon. Aren't those that read her books customers too? Interesting that many of the defending comments are from the same poster....also interesting that some of the positives ended up bottle feeding...... Also, have a quick lookie on Mumsnet too - people are a bit scared of saying too much though.......

Problem is with Clare's "advice" is she makes her failures (and that's not to say you are a failure if you don't bf, don't jump on me for that) feel good about their decision to stop. These make up a bulk of her satisfied customers.........and I believe her personal experience accounts for this - she had this need herself at the time. That's fine. BFC's are trained to help mums come to terms with stopping too - but not under false pretences or myths or by making comparisons to cows being "duff milkers". Problem is, is it sometimes comes across as making it sound like an equal choice which completely undermines the superiority of bm.

[almondeyes]

Originally Posted by emilyteacake

To be honest, I think this debate really crystallises the whole issue very nicely - there is way too much conflicting information, way too much 'advice' and way too many products shoved down our throats at every stage of pre-conception, pregnancy, birth and motherhood.
We're overwhelmed, confused and very vulnerable when we become mums for the first time, and there are people out there who want to take advantage of it. Most of it is to do with marketing, and lining someone else's pocket with our hard earned cash.
Why can't we just be left alone to forget all the hype, look at our beautiful babies and give them what they need - (breast)milk, love and our very best attention x

Fab post Emilyteacake.

To address the conflicting information thing which you are so right about. It would take a concerted effort and investment to train midwives, paeds, HVs, neo-natal nurses and any other bod who frequently come into contact with pregnant and new mothers to get them to sing from the same song sheet on the fundamentals of breastfeeding and to be able to recognise more tricky cases which are slightly or more complex and refer them on to more qualified staff.

At the moment medical students get about 6 hrs or so of training on breastfeeding and the first 3 hours of that is on the anatomy of the breast.

They may do some internship on the maternity wards where a lot of breastfeeding myths are passed on by midwives who do not have to update their breastfeeding knowledge after gaining their midwifery qualification. The breastfeeding training is also very basic and short - can't remember how short at the moment - and even at the lecture stage sometimes delivered by people whose breastfeeding knowledge is woeful then they move to the wards where again, myths abound.

Same scenario with health visitors. It is no wonder that so many women give up breastfeeding earlier than they planned to. When the poor knowledge of medical staff is combined with our normal trust in what health care professionals tell us it is, sadly, a lethal combination for breastfeeding.

You also rightly say that many people from pre-conception to dunno when they leave home(?) are out to dig their hands into our pockets. I think all a newborn needs are clean nappies, (breast) milk, a blanket for when it is cold and a sling to keep them close. Every thing else, materially, is extra.