feeling guilty/sad/tired...

[hiann]

Any hugs going anyone?

Have been increasing the amount of formula I have been giving Cara and decreasing the amount of breastfeeding and frequency of expressing milk as I am wrecked and also pumping during day means I cant give Rhys enough attention when I do it and I feel he needs it as has been quite tantrumy recently: we had a good morning the other day when we went to a soft play area just the two of us: think he needs and desrves some private mummy time.

But feeling a bit sad/guilty that my milk is slowly stopping: can only get abt 75ml expressed from both breasts now but I had a bad day last Monday: so bad DH took the next day off to give me a break. Feel a bit bad abt the fact that Rhys had breastmilk for a bit longer than Cara...

[lilmuppetlou]

Huge hugs hun.......don't feel bad about it at all hun. xxxx

[Nickit]

Huge of hugs hun. I know exactly where you're coming from. I've had battles with BF both of mine and know how it feels to be racked with guilt. With your second there are just so many other pressures; you can't devote every second to the baby. It's such a confusing and difficult time for the first child and every decision you make from now on has to be about doing the best for YOU and YOUR family.

There will be lots of things that Rhys got/did that Cara probably won't in the same way but it doesn't mean it's any worse. She will get so much from Rhys and from having her older brother around.

I'm not sure if you can stop the guilt; I constantly have battles with myself to not feel guilty because of things that are different this time round (I went back to work earlier, Oliver didn't go to baby swimming, music, just spends his time running around to activities for Isabelle - you get the picture) as well as guilt because I don't get to spend much one-on-one time with Isabelle, but I'm doing the best for us all.

(((((hugs))))))
xx

[LittleMissMe]

can I ask if theres any way to stop expressing and just bf her? I had to pump for 2 weeks when my first refused to bf but still wanted breastmilk from a bottle! She went mental if there was formula in it! I pumped a few times a day every day for 2 weeks but by the end I was getting an ounce after 10/20 minutes my milk totally disappeared cause she wasn't feeding properly. She then wanted to bf again but I had no milk so it was on to formula.

I did feel guilty, but reasoned that I had done my best and I honestly cant do any more than that-you should tell yourself that you are doing youre very best for BOTH of your kids and keep doing what you feel is right for them.

[Bubba82]

sending mega ((((HUGGLES))))) don't feel bad babe you're doing what's right for your situtation, you've given her a fab start with booby milk and you are a fabby mummy xxx

[Anna07]

don't feel guilty, it is impossible to do everything the same for no. 2 that you did for no.1. like nickit says everything is about what is best for you as a family now. you have done well to BF her at all so feel proud about that, i don't know much about BF other than my own experience which i kind of muddled through but i am sure you could prob still build your supply up again if you put her on more times in the day, i didn't bother expressing at all this time as it just didn't work with having to keep any eye on 2 kids but i became a dab hand at feeding Abbie and doing stuff with Iz at the same time e.g. would feed abbie and have iz sat on my lap facing me reading a story or something, and i just got rid of my hang up about feeding out and about this time round and just got on with it so i could take them both out to soft play or music whatever but made sure we went to places i knew i could feed and felt comfortable about it. i have just stopped feeding abbie now and ridiculously feel guilty about stopping even though it was the right thing for us to do and i fed her for much longer than i did izzy.

big hugs you are doing a great job.

[mrsharvey]

massive hugs hiann, 2 is definitely much harder than 1.

I was feeling guilty the other day that I'm not doing so much with Sophie than I did with Jess. Jess was signed up to sing and sign, little voices and we would go to numerous baby groups but with Sophie I haven't really done anything apart from going to a baby group on a friday. When Jess is at nursery in the morning I try and do things with Sophie but I get side tracked with shopping/washing/cooking etc. Jess starts school full time in september but I'll be back at work in June thankfully only 3 days a week.

With regards to the BF I'm the opposite Jess was only BF for a week but with Sophie I'm still going strong I feel guilty sometimes that I wish I'd perserved with Jess but hey ho she is a happy healthy 4 year old.

You have to do what is best for you and your family don't beat yourself up over it hun xxxx

[rhianwen]

dont feel bad hun sending you big hugs xxx

[dara07]

You are doing great, it def is harder with 2 and 3! Do what's best for whole family and yourself. I bf LO 1 for 5 days, LO 2 for 10 and LO 3 for 0! Did feel guilty etc but they are all healthy and happy. What ever you decide the feelings of guilt will go hopefully. You'll be too busy with the two. D x

[éinínsmom]

Big hugs Hiann xxx