FAO ladybug, RM, IM, Iwan etc

[Anna07]

Hello

I know all you guys BF for a long time with your LOs and wanted to ask how long you fed through the night for. Abbie is still feeding 3 or 4 or even 5 times a night, often it is just a short feed and i think i am becoming like a substitute dummy for her so she needs it to get back to sleep or comfort herself. I am not even considering leaving her to cry or anything like that as she is way to young still but i feel like i am creating massive attachment issues, she is so clingy with me now even refusing to go to her dad at times (and yesterday took her to get waxing done as can't go anywhere without her and woudln't even sit in buggy next to the bed, had to come out and be held - makes bikini wax tricky...). I am knackered and just really need more sleep, she sleeps better when she is in with me (OH works away one or 2 nights a week so have her in with me on those nights) so was sort of considering co-sleeping but OH not keen on this and also someone told me this would prolong the night feeds even more....she is in cot in our room anyway but maybe if i put it right next to the bed with the side down that would be almost as good as having her in the bed with us what do you think?

Also spoke to a friend of a friend who had the same silent reflux and sleeping probs and she said that when they stopped the night feeding (she was diong like me 4 times a night) things dramatically improved and it had kind of been fuelling the fire by doing the night feeds.

Also dumb question but if she was going to be in our bed how do you stop them getting under the douvet (when me on my own this not a prob just have douvet on my side), like if she is in between us the douvet is going to go over her or do you have her on the edge of the bed and put a guard on or something....prob a non starter though as OH says no as he says he would be worried about rolling on her he is a ridiculously deep sleeper.

I don't expect to cut night feeds altogether but at least to go down to one or two...

Any words of wisdom gratefully received.

Anna

[rachaelmae]

I stopped night feeds just before she was a year old, she was just comfort feeding for ages and with hindsight would of stopped earlier.. we co slept and to start with we got more sleep but it got to the point she wouldnt sleep without my nipple in her mouth!

So i put her in a cot in her own room, she still had the occasional night feed if poorly or upset etc but she quickly stopped.

Livvy didnt start eating till she was year either so i was torn between feeding her at night as she wasnt eating and stopping to see if she would eat more... when i stopped the night feeds she did start eating!

When I co sleep i put them on top of the quilt, but as its just me theres loads of room.. I have pillows down the side of the bed under the quilt so they dont roll out.

Have you tried offering a dummy first when she wakes food?xx

[Anna07]

Not interested in a dummy. I can't even give her a bottle of EBM so at least i would have an idea of if she was hungry by seeing how much she took in the night, as it has got to the point now when the bottle/ cup/ any drinking vessel gets near her mouth she starts crying and pushing it away with her hands...

Don't have a room to put her in either.

MIL and FIL are on holiday in Jan for two and a half weeks so we could stay in their house with more space and put her in her own room there and see what happens.

[isabellasmum]

Isabella used to wake at 11pm/midnight ish and 5am/6am every night. She used to go straight back after the midnight feed but after the early morning one would want feeding every hours or so until 8am when we got up.

OH used to go to work about 6am so I would do same as Stinky and put her on top of duvet next to me and leave her to it.

At about 8.5 months we moved into spare room (Isabella stayed and that became her room) and from the first night she slept through until 8am.

Ladybug and a few others gave me loads of suggestions and advise on how to encourage her to sleep through which I tried but for us it was as simple as her being in her own room that worked.

Next time round I'll prob put baby in their own room earlier, six months or so as it was every night when we went to bed when she started shouting and nothing else pacified her.

I really was not happy doing night feeds after 6/7 months, I knew she didn't need them, that it was a comfort thing and I wanted a full nights sleep!

[Anna07]

i wouldn't mind that too much Abbie but at the moment she wakes sometime between 930 and 1030, i feed her then (would have been time when i would have done dream feed for Izzy) then seems to wake sometime betwee 1230 and 130, sometimes 330 as well and then is waking 5ish and not going back to sleep till around sometime between 7 and 8 which is useless to me as by that time izzy is up.....i end up feeding all those times to keep her quiet and get her back to sleep.

i haven't got a room to put her in, want to put her in with izzy eventually but can't do that till her sleeping is better as wouldn't be fair on izzy.

i remember izzy slept better the minute she went in her own room. have a bad feeling OH is going to be saying i told you so as he said it was going to be a recipe for disaster having to have her in our room for so long.....well he'll just have to buy us a bigger house

[isabellasmum]

No I realise it could have been much worse but keep getting up when I knew she didn't need it was frustrating. She was much happier in the day once she was getting uninterrupted sleep.

Is there anyway Izzy could sleep at your inlaws for a couple of nights so you can see how Abbie does in her room by herself?

[Anna07]

i did think of that but not sure two nights would be long enough....

my in laws are going on holiday for two and a half weeks in jan so we could stay at their house while they are away and try and crack it as there is enough space there for both girls to have own room not sure though whether it would work not doing it on home territory if you know what i mean....do you think it is worth a try or do you think she would revert once we got home, i guess it is more about breaking a habit...she will be six months start of jan so would be perfect time to do it.

[mrsharvey]

give it a go hun.

Sophie went into her room straightaway, I used to feed her around 10.30/11ish and then about 2/3ish and 5/6ish, now she has her last feed about half 6 and goes through till morning, I do hear her making noise but she settles herself.

good luck hun xxxx

[rachaelmae]

As soon as Livvy went in with Jessimae she slept all night.... you never know.. these kids are odd little things..

i did try the stick the nipple in and then replace with dummy...

what happens if you leave her? sometimes Livvy would have a token cry then go back to sleep..

[ladybug]

I think that putting her cot in with Izzy is a plan. Kids LOVE it and are comforted naturally by each other. Really, try it. Izzy will just switch off to any noise. If you're anything like me you're up as soon as bubs shouts so it's not like the noise keeps going.

I feed Chris through the night. He's two in January, but I just have no motivation to stop. He is disturbed through the night quite a lot, and the feed settles him almost instantly. Could be the case that he's disturbed because he's still breastfed, but I just don't know! I would hate to totally stop then have to deal with Mr Stroppy without my secret weapon...

Anyways. If I was stopping feeding Chris through the night I would be enlisting the help of hubby. Chris is happy to settle with OH so I'd just be kicking him awake (HOW can they ALWAYS sleep through it??? How, HOW, HOW??? LOL) I think strategies for 2 year olds are a bit different.

It was Susie who directed me to a website on advice on how to stop feeding through the night. I stopped when Katie was around 15 months. When she first shouted for a feed, I'd let OH go to her and comfort her. If she persisted in crying, he'd bring her through for a feed. If he settled to sleep, happy days. If she woke again shortly after being settled by OH, I'd go to her. We followed that routine, first refusal and on second request, feed. Gradually the requests tailed away.

With a 5 month old, you might find that refusing feeds will make her more clingy generally. A feed is more than just milk - it's reassurance and comfort. If she doesn't get that during feeds she might ask for it in different ways, so seem more clingy.

Another theory suggests that feeding more frequently throughout the day results in fewer requests at night. It's not to do with the quantity or thirst factor - more to do with the bonding/reassurance thing. The idea is that they have had frequent reassurance and comfort throughout the day, so feel less needy at night.

Keep in mind that it is totally normal for a breastfed baby to wake through the night for as long as they are breastfed. She's still pretty wee, so you will probably have a long wait for a full night's sleep. Don't get me wrong, quite decent percentage of bf babies do sleep through; it's just not as common as it is with ff babies.

I often found that at that age if I caught Chrissy quickly enough, he'd feed very briefly and fall asleep soon after. I always take him into my bed. I usually fall asleep though, which means he can be in the bed easily for half the night. I've had a couple of hairy moments, when he was smaller. I found him right undr the covers, half way down the bed. Was very scary! So I recommend you feed her on top of the covers - perhaps keep a small baby blanket at your bedside so you can drape it over her. Chris has also fallen out of the bed a couple of times. So, if you can, put a spare duvet on the floor, and drape it slightly over the side cabinet if you have one. When I was feeding him on the other side, a swift kick to hubby and 'baby on bed' was all that was needed to prompt him to grip precariously to the edge of the bed, facing the other way Evil wife... If you are really concerned about these issues, a thin cheap single mattress that can be shoved under your bed and pulled out when necessary makes sense. Or even just a decent thick quilt. Lie on the floor, feed then put her back to her wee cot. That means that if you are so exhausted you fall asleep, all the other problems should be averted.

Hope this helps!

Gx