Question about behaviour

[isabellasmum]

Isabella sweetheart that she is can be a pain in the bum at mealtimes. She sits shouting for more bread/cheese/grapes/water etc and sometimes is very high maintenance.

Now it isn't every mealtime but this morning at breakfast she was ordering me to put her in her highchair, get the weetabix out of the cupboard, pass my spoon, I want the green bowl etc etc.

Well as soon as she finished her weetabix she then started shouting for a banana and some grapes. I had just poured the milk on mine and told her to wait a minute and she kept shouting "mummy get it now, Isabella wants a banana, Isabella wants grapes, Mummy get it now" over and over at the top of her voice and climbed out of her highchair.

I told her that shouting wasn't nice and to sit back in her chair. She refused to sit down so I told her I'd put her back in bed and she carried on screaming so I did. She had a huge screaming fit and I left her two minutes while I finished my weetabix then bought her back down to have some toast.

She was fine when I bought her back down and was good as gold but I was then feeling guilty that I'd been strict with her (I'd not lost my temper or shouted though) and wondered if I should have handled it differently.

I don't expect her to have impeccable table manners (yeah right) but I do feel that she's reached an age of understanding some things like not climbing out of her highchair (as it's dangerous) and not keep screaming orders at me and want to start to encourage this.

We use the naughty spot with a warning beforehand normally but this morning I'd just mopped downstairs so couldn't put her on any of the floors.

Any one had any success with demanding toddlers?

[noababy]

I think what you did was fine. Kids NEED the boundaries set for them. Giving them limits and boundaries is what makes them feel safe. A kid without boundaries is a terrible thing to watch, cause they get worse as they get older.

The only thing I may have done different is focused on the unsafe behaviour as opposed to the rude behaviour. I would have said something about climbing out is dangerous and set that limit. But as far as the screaming, I would have addressed it as: you ate, mummy is now eating you will have to wait.

[Imosmummy]

i cant wait to hear to what people advise Even as someone with alot of toddler experience (and training in their behaviour) i am struggling with Imo. She is really pushing the limits at the mo, refusing to do alot of things, hitting and even biting a few times. I try not to get angry but even the times that i have raised my voice (and even shouted) she just laughs and tries to make me laugh by pulling funny faces walking funny etc, George was never like this, in comparison most of the time he was an angel (or did i block it out??)
I try to keep her busy and distract her when i see a warning and alot of the time it does help but the times it doesn't.........

[Princess25]

Hey hun!

As far as I can see, you handled it as I would have done. Molly had an incident where she climbed out of her highchair sat in the middle of my glass dining room table throwing my glass coasters on to the floor. Yes I know it was my fault for leaving them there but I done exactly the same as you. I will look forward to others responses aswell as it will help me in the future as my LO is a little younger than yours xx

[jewel]

You handled it as I would have hun. Ruby gets a warning then if she persists its to the room she goes. She will still push boundaries now but that's the joys of the terrible two's!

[rachaelmae]

would of done the same, i think you have to be consistant

[acad]

You done the right thing, i would of done the same, although the other day i did shout and it got me no-where and i felt so guilty about it

[Leahbird]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you just described every morning in our house!!!! Oh the joys!

And to make matters worse not only does Leah shout demands at me for her, she also tells me how and when to feed her baby!!!

As if I have time........................................


Am so impressed you didnt loose your temper I sound like a fish wife in the mornings!!!!!!!!!!!! and prob look like one too!

[vickiepower]

i would of done exactly the same, he gets a warning if he still acts up then naught step or removed from what ever we are doing xx

[noababy]

The one thing I do want to add, is that before any of make threats to our kids, we have to do 2 things:

1) make sure we are in the state of mind to follow through on what we say we will do. If you are not really in the mood, and are going to end up giving in if the child does not comply, then just give in without the threat cause threatening and not doing is so much worse than just giving in cause the child learns if he whines and continues there is a possiblity that mummy or daddy will give him/her what they want

2) Chose your battles. Especially important as the kids get older. If I went head to head with my kids with everything I didn't want them to do, I would be arguing all day long. It is important to save the "battles" for the important things. That is not to say you cannot educate them and point out that their behaviour is rude... With older kids espescially teens I find it a good tactic to tell them sometimes for example that I am not pleased with what they are wearing, but that I am not going to make a big deal about it....That way when I do make a big deal, they can recall instances where I didn't get on their cases...