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17-11-08, 13:01
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Relationship query
Would you say there is a more dominant person in your relationship, the one that makes the decisions and has the final say? i ask because a few months ago i read quite a interesting article in the mail (will try and post it if i can find it) about a new idea sweeping America about going back to basics in relationships. Basically where the man is head of the house and is dominant and the woman is submissive. At first i recoiled with horror but the more i read the more i thought about it. Ther underlining thing they were saying is that the man is much less likely to cheat and look outside the home if he feels respected in the home as the head and the one in control.
This really made me think as i tbh i have always been the one that makes the decisions, i decide what we are going to do and if hubby doesn't want to i either nag til he submits or do it anyway, take children for example, he was happy to wait a few more years but i think in a way i talked him around to thinking it was best to have them now before he takes over the family business and has more stress, yes he agreed at the time and worships the children and i know he has no regrets. A couple of times in the last year he has made comments about how i push and push til he says yes to things, right down to little things like holidays, he said no to disney later this year but i went on about it til he said yes. The article summed up to say you have to think whats more important, getting your own way and being independent or having a lasting marriage like our grandparents did (but were they happy or did they put up i wonder?) i've been dying to get on here and get everyone's opinion, as i need to know whether to stop bullying hubby into doing what i want all the time! What do you reckon? Is there any substance to it? there was alot more to it but i forgot over time lol..... Last edited by Imosmummy : 17-11-08 at 13:05. 
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17-11-08, 13:07
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we're pretty equal in the decision making, we always try to discuss stuff 1st and if one is against an idea and it's justified then we won't do something, other times OH makes the decisions about things and other times i do.
i'm far to independant & opinionated to let OH do all the decision making LOL 
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17-11-08, 13:38
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ok reading it back sounds like i'm really horrid to hubby, but i really aren't!!! he's naturally a laid back person and goes with the flow, and also very indecisive about many things, so maybe he heeds me to be the boss??? lol
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17-11-08, 14:26
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I would say that I have finally mastered the art of letting hubby think he has made all the decisons
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17-11-08, 14:49
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Quote:
In have found that more important than letting the men make the decisions is a lot of praise and appreciation-kind of like with kids-positive reinforcement goes a long way!
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17-11-08, 16:43
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Quote:
Quote:
i definitely agree with you both  i think hubby is happy for me to make most of the decisions just so he can moan he never makes any decisions (he loves a good moan) when it come to important thing we try to come to a decision together.
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17-11-08, 16:49
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anything important and its a joint decision, i dont bother him with small stuff, just do as i please
i dont nag, just sow some seeds and bingo its his idea.... men are so easy xxx
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17-11-08, 19:54
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We make big decisions jointly but other than that no rules. Not sure if I could stand to be the little housewife at home with dinner on the table as soon as he walks through the door and all that. Equal opps is what I say!! xxx
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