hiting and kicking

[wickypop]

i am so embarrassed (SP) by Olivers recent behaviour.....he has started to hit and kick his little friends.
it started a couple of weeks ago with his 'best' friend and we put it down to jealousy becuase she always asks for Sophie and wants to cuddle Sophie rather than taking notice of Oliver...but today he started on his 'best' friend and then i commented and said he only seems to do it to her and the next thing i know he has done it to his other little friend.
i tell him off cos i can not tolerate this kind of behaviour but it does not seem to make any difference.....i sit him down tell him what he has done and that it is wrong and not nice....but he goes and does it again.
my friends say it is a stage and usual and that he has probably picked it up from nursery but it is making me feel really bad....i dont want him to do it, he needs to understand it is wrong and not nice, i feel that i dont want to take him to friends houses or for friends to come to us because it makes me feel so stressed out and depressed.
nursery have not said that he has acted like this there so i presume he is fine with the children there....will be very embarrased to hear if he does start there....not sure i can face that.
i am hoping that some of you may have some advice for me, i could really use some help. thanks x x x x x x x x x

[rachaelmae]

Big hugs sweetiexxx

I think most kids have a stage of hitting/kicking/biting and other parents will understand.

When Jessimae does something like that i remove her from the room, she goes to the naughty step. It works well with herx

I would def remove him, tell him very simply that its naughty. give the "injured" child abit of special attention, when he plays ncely mae sure e gets lots of praise, punishment only works if positive reinforcement is used aswell.

Please dont stress it will passxxxxxxxx

[wickypop]

thanks hun x x x x
its SO hard tho...think i have high expectations for his behaviour and this makes me feel like a failure iykwim!
i know i am not alone with this kind of behaviour and i will just have to keep telling him!
thanks x x x x

[mrsharvey]

big hugs hun, Jess went through a stage of biting and it was awful, if she did do it I would take her away from the situation, tell her off and make her sit on the naughty step or whatever was around, this seemed to help.

She is now 34 months and has grown up so much, don't worry it will pass xxxx

[linnij]

Thank God there's others! My lo is same age and has started hitting when not getting her own way. She only seems to go for me or hubby most of the time. We remove her from situation, remove toys/tv, whatever she had been enjoying for a few mins, time out. She knows it's naughty as she tells me after she has done it. Hopefully by keeping doing these things it will eventually stop xxx

[isabellasmum]

Isabella used to do this

I used to tell her off, take her away and make a huge fuss of the injured child.

I did used to tell her off but only briefly "no, that's naughty, we don't hit" and whisk her away fast taking any toys she had away.

I always think it's important not to make too much fuss when telling them off or it can become an attention thing. Isabella used to hit her friend Ariadne and it was embarrassing as Ariadne is such a sweet little thing She soon learnt that hitting meant playtime ended and Ariadne got a huge fuss.

[ladybug]

Any time Katie hits/pushes/shoves/prods/pulls/pokes/kicks/slaps Chris, (and, yes, the list seems endless... ) she gets whatever toys she has unceremoniously ditched on the floor, and she is guided to the bottom step of our stairs, for two minutes. She is sat there, I tell her why and walk away. She really does NOT like it. After two mins I go back, ask her why she is there, and tell her to go say sorry and give him a kiss (which causes more problems sometimes *sighs*). After she has said sorry it is forgotten. If she refuses to say sorry she is back on for two mins, after a warning.

If the offence is not too great, we just threaten the naughty step rather than use it straight away, and she usually behaves/ apologises just on the threat iyswim.

We didn't really have a problem with the hitting thing before Chris, and she doesn't do it to anyone else. BUT, she was on the receiving end a few times, and I wonder if that's why she doesn't do it to others. Who knows. Do you know a good tearaway you could expose your child to?? Let them see it from the other side???

[Princess25]

Oh my gosh I was going to post the same lol Molly has started to hit and kick and its normally me when I go and pick her up from the child-minder! I was also told she hit another little boy last week and it really upset me. People keep saying its a stage they go through and to be honest I cannot wait for it to end!

[noababy]

First of all it is a stage. I also think that many times it comes a little bit after a new arrival in a family. The first child now has to split all the attention with a baby, may not be so sure of the fact that he is loved.

It can also be that he is at a stage where he understands a lot more than he can communicate and thus the frustration and acting out.

The most important thing to remember is that in no way shape or form are you at fault. Kids are kids.

When he is being good, give him lots of hugs and attention and tell him how special he is to you. Like the others said, take him to the naughty step, don't make a big fuss over him and then let it go. The most important thing is the positive reinforcement.

HUGS!!

[Debbiemeep]

Matthew has started this recently too, must be the age they are at. And again its not with children at the groups he goes to but its his wee friend that he sees most often. He has started pushing him over, mainly when they are chasing each other and get a bit too excited, but he has done it deliberately a few times too. I tell him its not nice and make him say sorry.

His friend cried last time when Matthew pushed him over, and then later on at home Matthew was crying because he had fallen over so I told him that was how his friend had felt. He seemed to understand and when I said we were going to see his friend the next day he told me "no push aaron, aaron cry"

It does seem to be a stage though so hopefully they'll grow out of it soon!