Toddler - Big bed/ cot disaster - help!

[jobunny]

Hi
my small boy aged 2 and a half is so unsettled. We have recently put a big bed in his room which he quite likes but is still keen on his cot. We have been away three times in total in the last few months. The first few times he was very good and slept in a proper bed and all was fine even though he was in a cot at home then the third trip away he simply would not leave my side and did not want to go to bed at all. Now we are back home and he is up every night with monsters in his bedroom. Both my husband and I are fairly chilled about him coming and sleeping with one of us(I am sleeping with other baby.) but it is now becoming the norm. He never slept with us before this year unless ill mainly because he always wanted to stay in his cot if he woke. He slept through the night reliably for a whole year.Is it having a sibling? He seems to adore her. We all slept together when we first brought her home from hospital and then he asked to go back to his own bed. He has recently started playgroup and has had one or two more challenging moments with bigger kids as his speech is very good for his age he sometimes is thought to be older than he is. He very tall. Just sort of starting potty training but very passive on my part. He is very sociable as we live in a town where there are hundreds of toddlers!! so he has lots of pals. Still has bottle of milk. I am so desparate not to get this all wrong. Sorry about big thread/post.Also whilst he is very sweet to his sister he seems unreliable with smaller children - he did go through a phase of pushing at about 18 m he is a sweet boy and I know I am fussing - perhaps this is the problem. ????????

[isabellasmum]

Is your main worry about his sleeping hon?

How old is your new baby? I think lots of kids have unsettled stages especially if there's a new baby on the scene. If he's scared of monsters maybe get a book about them that makes them seem friendly (Isabella has a 'that's not my monster' board book) and make a big thing about checking his room at night, looking under the bed etc.

Also if it is the new baby that's unsettling him try and make some time just for him every day. Have a set half an hour where your OH takes the baby and you do something just with him, read a story etc to make him still feel special.

Big ((hugs)) hope he's feeling more settled soon x

[jobunny]

Thanks Isabella Mum
My new baby is now 5 months and I am making time at the weekend to just be us (me and William) together but I will try harder in the week. I am aware that when she is sleeping that I am quite often doing other things and I should just sit down and read a book with William.
I like the idea about the monster books! Maybe some paintings too. I am so scared of the dark - I am desparate not to pass on fear!! I might be a bit laid back about this whole playgroup thing too as although he loves it he is only just two and a half maybe it is too many changes all at once. I will ask him what he wants to do. Thanks v much

[isabellasmum]

Hope it goes ok hon. It must be so difficult for these little people having so much change. I remember when we got back from our holiday (where isabella slept in our room) it took her weeks to settle again to sleeping on her own so can't imagine how tough it must be for your little guy xx

[jobunny]

thanks
this afternoon we had a bit of a break through - he had his nap in his big bed and was quite happy. I just sat with him and then the phone rang! so I went to answer it and he went off to sleep quite happily. I think having the cot crammed into his tiny room as well as the bed might make him feel a bit overwhelmed so we are going to move it out tonight and see what happens. Probably has nothing to do with this but he can always have his cot back - as long as he is out of it before he goes to school. I really don't mind. Will do monster search too!! thanks for advice.

[isabellasmum]

Happy monster hunting! xx