affair

rhianwen · #1 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 10:44

As you have probarly read on other posts I have the mil from hell and a husband who sticks up for her no matter what. Well my life has now crashed around me last night. I thought me and my husband where getting along great we seemed happy there was little on the physical side but I just thought things would improve. Last night he told me he was having an affair and was going to live with her. What have we done to deserve this and how can he do this to Katlin just before christmas all I have had all morning is Katlin asking whjere her daddy is since he walked out at ten last night and aint been seen since his mobile is switched of too. Do i turn up to his work or will this upset Katlin. Im soo confused i dont know what to do? How can I be soo stupid as to not recognise the signs I feel like the biggest faliure and that it is all my fault is tyhis normal. I needed to write this down I need to make sense of it all. I want him back but can i forgive him omg this is such a mess. Whats happens if a divorce is needed

Ellie H · #2 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 10:57

OMG! I just want to send you some ((((((((((((Huge Hugs)))))))))))))

I don't have any answers for you but please know that there are lots of us here for you!

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loublou · #3 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:04

OMG babes
i havnt any advice to give really as i too am going through a tough time with my hubbie
but just wanted to send u a (((HUG)))
love louxx

victoria9bunny · #4 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:14

oh jeez hun, I wanted to send you a great big massive hug and tell you whatever happens you and your gorgeous little girl will get through this.

Do you have any family or friends close by who can come round and give you some support? I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling at the moment whilst trying to keep things together for Kaitlyn. I know you and your mil don't get on but have you spoken to her? she may know where he is at and she may encourage him to turn his phone back on because you need to talk, for your own sakes and for the sake of your daughter.

I'm afraid I don't have any great advice but I'm thinking of you, take care xxx

Bear · #5 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:28

OMG Massive hugs to you and your gorgeous little one.......
Men make me so so mad why would he do this to you and his gorgeous little girl???

:
Im not sure i have any advice for you sweetie, Im going through a pants time with my hubby at the mo so on a very small scale I can understand what your going through.
I do think that you need to seriously think whether or not you'd want to be with him even if he did come back - would you ever be able to trust him again? and everytime you had an arguement it would surface and be mentioned every time, do you think youd be able to handle that?

I agree that you should maybe try and get in contact with your mil, she might know whats going on - or not - but maybe she might be able to get in touch with him?
In the meantime you need to be strong for your little one. Maybe get somebody to have her for a few hours while you go out and have a walk and think about whats happening?!
Just a few suggestions but no real help really - just want to offer you lots of support anf hugs, we're all here sweetie pie so dont feel like your on your own now, your the best mummy and that will never change.
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katieharry · #6 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:33

I'm so sorry to hear this hun, your head must be spinning. Can you get someone to look after your lo for you and let you have a bit of breathing space to try and make sense of it all? Just remember there will always be lots of support for you on here, we are all thinking of you.. ((((((massive hug)))))
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Bear · #7 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:33

P.S. Just wanted to add that you DEFINATELY not a failure and NONE of this is your fault. Please dont ever think that its so not true. He's a stupid idiot who cant face up to his responsibilities.
xxx

Bear · #8 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:34

p.p.s. sorry hope your not offended by the he's a stupid idiot comment - i just cant believe he's done this!!
xxxxxx

vmalzone · #9 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:39

Holy Crap, that is awful, awful, I wish I could give you a great big hug and a shoulder to cry on. Absolute crap. you do not deserve this. I have no advice for you. I'm not getting along with my husband very well at the mo either. All i can say is maybe avoid any dramatic scenes in front of you lo, it won't do her any good. Kids adjust very well, and surprisingly quickly -- if you can manage a smile at Christmas, then she will be happy. You must be very confused right now.

All I'd add is that, when you are able, try to think about what YOU want. Do you want him back? Do you want an apology? Or do you want to move on and find a greater happiness? Only you know what to aim for. Once you know what you want, then you can try to look at it objectively and see if it's achieveable and how. Your life has changed unexpectedly, through no fault of your own. It's up to you how you respond to it. Sometimes it helps me to think of myself as a tree, strong roots and branches that just bend with the wind. (But sometimes nothing but chocolate ice cream helps.)

Men suck. You poor thing, I really, really feel for you and will be thinking of you all day.

bethtanner · #10 (**permalink**) 10-10-07, 11:45

I will post a longer message later, as i am about to go out but i just wanted to say i'm really sorry to here this. I cant imagine whats it is like for you. I would go to his work without little one and at least try to talk to him, thinking of you, beth xxxx