Do you tell them when you're going out?

[Claire76]

Whenever we're going out it's always after Finlay has gone to bed as most things are from around 7.30/8pm. We've been quite lucky that each time we've ever been out, Finlay has never woken so is none the wiser that someone else is here to look after him but it just got me thinking as to whether we should be telling him we're going out so that if he ever did wake he wouldn't be freaked out when half asleep that we're not here.

What do you do? Do you keep quiet so they go off to sleep well before you're going or do you tell them? I can just imagine that Finlay would kick off wanting to come out with us, so have always kept quiet about it.

Also, we're going away for one night Saturday, we'll be leaving around 4pm on Saturday and not back till prob Sunday lunchtime, so obviously he knows that Nanny is looking after him but wondering what to say on where we're going, she's having him at our house. If I'm honest and say we're going to a party he'll get upset cos he'll want to come with us and if I tell him who we're going to see he'll also get upset as he adores the friends that we're going to. So no idea what to tell him! Those of you that go away overnight, what do you tell your LO's?

[rachaelmae]

I always tell them

Never had a problem, would rather they know than wake up and freak.

[cole]

I always tell them and when we should be back. Never had any problems x

[EvansMum]

I dont really go out when Evan is here, I always wait until its his dads weekend to have him, but I suppose I would tell him because like you say, I wouldnt want him to wake up and freak out when I had gone.

I suppose you dont really need to go into too much detail, just tell him mummy and daddy are going out to see someone and will be back again tomorrow morning. I would put more of the emphasis on Finlay spending the night with nanny and play down the fact that you are going out to a party. Make spending the night with nanny sound really exciting for him and tell him they are going to have loads of fun together and have a great time.

[djmc1812]

We always tell him. Normally whoever is babysitting is here before bedtime. Max is usually really excited that aunty & uncle are babysitting until he realised that means we are going out and we have had full on drama/tears when we leave He has actually been so upset he has been sick. But we still go out (how awful does that sound) as he has to learn that sometimes mummy and daddy go out and also i dont want him thinking if he has a full on drama queen fit we will then just change our minds and not go. He is always fine about 2 mins after we leave.

If he is going away overnight we dont have any issues as its a big adventure - i would play on that and say very little about where/who you are going to see.

[mummydotty]

I always tell him but as it doesn't happen very often he always makes a fuss, even if he's staying at Grandmas he wants to know why I'm not coming & when I'll be back to get him I just tell him I'm going out for a while & he's staying for a sleepover at Grandmas so I'll see him tomorrow. If he's staying at home it's usually with OH but he always wants to come with me so I tell him I'm going out & I'll be home later but don't tell him where I'm going. When it's time to leave I give him a big kiss & hug, tell him I'll see him later & leave. He's normally stopped sulking by the time I get to the end of the street!

[mrsharvey]

We always tell Jess when we're going out she is normally still up when we go, her normal reply to me is "Mummy your going out again!!" x

[Claire76]

Oh dear, I've been a bad Mummy not telling him then Will do from now on When we're going away overnight, he's usually staying at Nanny's so he never knows about us going out he just thinks he's going for a sleepover but this time she is staying here and when hubby and I went away to the Cotswolds last year he was really bad and upset. We think it was because he was in his own surroundings and we weren't here, so just a bit worried that he'll be really upset again, but then he's a year older now and will just have to get on with it LOL. He's staying over at Grandma's house tomorrow night and that he's dead excited about, he's never stayed there before and has wanted to for ages, I on the other hand am a little bit nervous!!! My Mum and Dad only usually have him for a few hours, whereas hubby's Mum and dad have Finlay a lot more and have had him overnight a few times. So feeling a little anxious but I'm sure it will be fine! Haven't told him about Saturday night and Nanny staying overnight with him yet, will tell him tomorrow. Thanks for your replies ladies xxx

[dmbell]

We usually tell Oliver and are usually honest about where we are going. We tell him we are going to see friends. He seems to understand that adults do grown up things on an evening and that the children get to see each other in the day.

[DrP]

We already tell Freddie when we're doing stuff. We don't go out all that much 'cause we don't have to many people here to look after him, but when we do leave him I tell him so he knows we'll be back later and that he's used to it for when he's abit older and understands even more.