dd and dh clashing

[angelbabies]

hi does anyone have any advice, have/had this problem.

dh adores dd and dd adores dh. along comes ds. dd 99% of time adores ds and 99% ds adores dd. but dd has on two occasions hit ds when dh looking after kids. she has never hit ds when with me. she gets irate with dh especially when he shows ds attention and throws tantrums and has dh wrapped round her little finger. dh gets frustrated with dd not doing what he asks to extent that dh says he can't cope with looking after the 2 of them when i'm not there. (wimp! - now now mummy)

i go out for a few hours for some retail therapy and come back to dh saying i can't cope shaking his head like a man defeated

i been doing really well with dd and getting her to do stuff lately and i've been doing the 2 choice thing as advised and generally making it clear without resorting to shouting excessively what is expected of her and followed through with ultimatums. not always sucessful but better than things were a few weeks ago.

dh threatens but does not follow through, he pleads and carjoles then gets frustrated when she does not play ball. she knows he doesn't mean business.

just wondered if anyone else had this and what did you do about it.

its so sad to see a grown man brought to his knees by a 3 yr old. i know i shouldn't laugh but dh seems to have developed a whole new level of respect for me.

[iwantone]

Sorry things are tough for your dh. Hopefully someone a bit more 'helpful' will come along and give advice as i don't know what you could do other than hubby carry through on his ultimatums. x

[rachaelmae]

LOL

I would tell him he has to cope, you do....

Tell him what you find works and if he doesnt do it, then DD will continue to run riot and play him up and he will just have to deal with it.... like you do...

men

[dmbell]

I get this too. We are fine all week and the come the weekend daddy is home. I think because alot of men dont get much time with the children they dont want to have to be strict.

I try to show him that what i am doing works but have to go about it very gentley otherwise he gets in a huff and thinks i am saying that his way is wrong.

Maybe ask him again to try it your way for a while and if he is still not happy that you can both sit down and try and come up with an alternative.

[angelbabies]

rachelmae - i always love reading your no nonsense approach to such matters.

yes i have a huffy hubby too. and weekends seem to be hardwork when dh is home.

last night i explained what i do and that it works which he said he's going to try too - he gave them brekkie this morning by himself which i think he found a bit better - i heard no tantrums or crying - and the kids were ok too.

we'll just have to work at it but he is a bit of a softy when it comes to his little princess.