Would you take your kids to a funeral?

[cole]

Hey, I am really undecided what to do. OH's Nan died 2 days ago and the funeral is on wednesday and I dont know if I should take the kids or not. Theo probably wont understand but Georgia will. We are a close family so the funeral will be very emotional. I am not sure I have anyone to have the kids either but I do want to go. My Mum is at the hospital all day that day too. OH wants to take them. How do I explain what is happening to Georgia?? I think our cousins are taking their kids too (the are quite a few of them now) and they are of a similar age.xxxxx

[kerri-anne]

Ooh that's a tough one. I don't think I would take my girls if it arose. It's a very personal choice but I think my girls are too young to process what it all means and be able to deal with how emotional everyone would be. That's just my personal thoughts though xxxx

[EvansMum]

I didnt take Evan to my nans funeral 2 years ago, his nan (on his dads side) looked after him instead. However my sister took her son who is 10 weeks older than Evan. Owen behaved really well and sat quiet enough through the ceremony, although he did find it funny when he realised the pew made a noise everytime he moved so he kept rocking backwards and forwards through the whole thing

Im glad I didnt take Evan because I found it a really tough day and very emotional and dont think I would have been able to cope with Evan too, but thats just me. Mind you, I did do a Reading and sobbed the whole way through it so I think if Evan had seen me like that, he would have probably started screaming and would wanted to be up there with me.

If you have to take the kids, its not going to have a lasting effect on them. For them, its just another day out because they dont really understand whats going on. Its just whether you want them there really.

[Claire76]

I wouldn't, personally feel they don't need to see that kind of distress, all their loved ones crying...... it would be very upsetting for them xx

[Debbiemeep]

I did, I took my 2 in August when my granda died. We even took Matthew to see the body before hand, he did have a look and he understood what had happened. He later told me that Great-Granda was away and it was just his body getting put in the ground.

With my christian beliefs I've always been quite open with my kids about death and what comes after and its something they get told about in Sunday School too so I never even considered not taking them. Yes, it was a long day but they got to see family and it actually helped others cope that there were 2 cheerful little kids running about, it showed life goes on.

Its your decision though how you think they (and you) would cope with it.

Debs xx

[iwantone]

I wouldn't take Oliver to a funeral tbh. I think they are too young to understand what is happening and cope with all of the upset they will see - especially Georgia. x

[Upsydaisytoo]

I defo wouldn't take them either, if Georgia asks questions maybe you could plant a wee tree or flower in memory, but funerals are just too sad and confusing. Thinking of you all at this sad time x

[jewel]

when OH's gran passed away I was heavily pregnany with Poppy and Ruby was 2 yrs old. We didn't take her although family wanted her at the wake and she came along to that and played with her cousins. As others have said, it can sometimes help to see young children there...being children!

[Ellie H]

When my Grandma passed away last November we didn't take thee kids to the funeral itself, we did however bring them to the gathering afterwards.

They helped lift the mood and my Grandma loved them so it made sense that they were part of it in some small way.

xxx

[Upsydaisytoo]

Think that is a good comprmise, not to take them to the actual funeral but to the wake afterwards xx